News In Brief
With Record Enrollment in CS106A, “Late Days” on Verge of Hyperinflation
With a record number of Stanford students enrolling in introductory programming classes this year, experts have begun to notice inflationary pressure on the unbacked currency known as “late days” that...
May 8th, 2012
Area Man Saving Himself For Politics or Coaching
Local grad student Mark Henderson has announced he will abstain from sexual intercourse until he is elected to public office or becomes a football coach. “I’ve made the decision to wait,” said Mark...
May 3rd, 2012
1035 Residents Lose House
After a whirlwind turn of events, the residents of 1035 Campus Drive have been informed by campus administrators that they will not be allowed to return to 1035 for the next academic year. Megan Wertzelbok,...
February 6th, 2012
Woman Accuses Cain of “Professional Relationship” as Campaign Comes to Close
Just days after announcing the suspension of his presidential campaign, Herman Cain found himself in the midst of yet another political scandal as Roberta Hernandez accused Cain of engaging in a “professional...
December 16th, 2011
WANTED: One Night Stand
Preferably white, with thin legs and stylish curves. Should be about waist-high. Won’t mind holding stacks of books, dirty dishes, and an alarm clock. Swedish design preferred.
November 14th, 2011
Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan-ites Rejoice as Dictator Replaced by New Dictator
Hope springs anew in the war- and poverty-plagued middle east as Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan holds democratic elections following the toppling of its long-standing dictatorship. Already, the new terrorist-sponsored...
November 10th, 2011
Heart Disease Found to be Purely Psychological
According to the results of a groundbreaking study performed at Harvard Medical School, heart disease is a purely psychological condition. Previously, scientists believed that heart disease was caused...
November 3rd, 2011
Freshman Heartbroken Over Lost Lanyard
Tragedy struck Friday afternoon at approximately 4:36 PM when freshman Stephen Salazar lost his lanyard.
“I was just biking to White Plaza to get my bike registered, and by the time I got there I realized...
September 30th, 2011
Against All Odds, Crothers Resident and Slav Resident Maintain Long Distance Relationship
In one of the greatest feel-good stories of the twenty-first century, Crothers resident Lori Scone and Slav resident Jack Holloway are managing what many have called “an almost-impossible”...
May 15th, 2011
Al-Qaeda Accuses SEALS of Screen-Looking, Rage Quit After Osama Kill
After the death of their best player, Osama bin Laden (gamertag: OsamaMama34), at the hands of a highly trained team of Navy SEALS, Al-Qaeda has made the rash decision to rage quit the War...
May 11th, 2011
The Flipside Daily Poll | POLL ARCHIVES
Today is National Dress Like a Muggle Day
See the rest of the Daily Days
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Freshman Finally Bunks Bed
May 18, 2012 06:05
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Obama Can’t Stop Taking Stances on Things
May 16, 2012 06:05
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Admissions Announces Record Yield
May 15, 2012 06:05
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Issue 117 Puzzles
May 14, 2012 11:05
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Nation Prepares for All-Out Sex Party in Wake of Obama Announcement
May 14, 2012 06:05
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