Facing Impeachment, Trump Recruits the One Man He Hoped He’d Never Have to Ask for Help: Duke Vengeance, PI

February 2, 2020 4:23 pm
Facing Impeachment, Trump Recruits the One Man He Hoped He’d Never Have to Ask for Help: Duke Vengeance, PI

As the stresses of his impeachment process slowly build, sources within the White House report that President Donald Trump has finally cracked under the pressure and hired the one man he swore he’d never ask for help again: Duke Vengeance, private investigator. According to anonymous staffers, Trump sought out the […]

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Former SCR President Finally Leaves Hospital 16 Months After “The Push”

January 24, 2020 10:18 am
Former SCR President Finally Leaves Hospital 16 Months After “The Push”
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PSA: Stanford Vibe Police on High Alert

November 20, 2019 9:52 pm
PSA: Stanford Vibe Police on High Alert

We have received word from several reputable sources that the rumors are true. The Stanford Administration has determined that there are too many people with “rancid” vibes about campus, and have been taking drastic and authoritarian measures to “correct” the vibe atmosphere on campus. For the entirety of this school […]

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Hubris Punished: Winnie the Pooh Castrated for Having Larger Scrotum Than Zeus

October 23, 2019 12:00 pm
Hubris Punished: Winnie the Pooh Castrated for Having Larger Scrotum Than Zeus

Alas, the wretched Winnie the Pooh has finally reaped that which he’d sewn, for his monstrous testes have now been shorn from groin by the Almighty Zeus himself. Pooh, that horrid, horny bear, dared not only to possess a scrote larger than that of the Lightning God, but what more, […]

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Amid Human Rights Abuses and Declining Support for Local Regime, U.S. Backs Coup in Flint, Michigan

May 21, 2019 7:00 pm
Amid Human Rights Abuses and Declining Support for Local Regime, U.S. Backs Coup in Flint, Michigan

As the humanitarian crisis worsens and citizens grow increasingly critical of local leadership, the U.S. Department of State has announced that it will begin actively pursuing regime change in Flint, Michigan to prevent further human rights abuses. Although widespread lead contamination of the city’s water first began in 2014, officials […]

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Flipside News in Brief: Georgian Mistresses, AAU Surveys, and Night Rabbits

May 18, 2019 4:49 pm
Georgia State Capitol Building in Atlanta, Georgia, USA.

Georgia Passes de facto Abortion Ban, Exception for Senators’ Mistresses News came last week of a Georgia bill outlawing abortions, a potential challenge to the Supreme Court’s Roe v. Wade ruling. Interestingly, the fine print of the bill includes a single loophole — women ages 18 to 22 working under the […]

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