Professor Accidentally Opens List of Students Ranked by Hotness Instead of Powerpoint

November 6, 2019 12:00 pm
Professor Accidentally Opens List of Students Ranked by Hotness Instead of Powerpoint

In a mistake that will haunt Dr. Eric Breckenridge for the rest of his tenured career, the esteemed professor and leader in his field of advanced discrete theory accidentally opened the wrong file at the beginning of lecture for MS&E 142, revealing a list of his students. Though Dr. Breckenridge […]

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Scholarly Conference Devolves Into Violence Over Disagreement About What the Hell ‘Toad’ from Mario Is Even Supposed to Be

October 29, 2019 4:31 pm
Scholarly Conference Devolves Into Violence Over Disagreement About What the Hell ‘Toad’ from Mario Is Even Supposed to Be

This past week, Stanford’s Institution for Applied and Theoretical Video Game Research met for its 92nd annual conference, with scholars and academics from around the world gathering on campus to answer one critical question: what the hell is Toad from Mario even supposed to be? Disagreement over the topic quickly […]

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Dear RA: My Roommate’s Mom Still Comes to Enforce His Curfew, and I Don’t Know What to Do

4:27 pm
Dear RA: My Roommate’s Mom Still Comes to Enforce His Curfew, and I Don’t Know What to Do

I let it slide the first few weeks, but at this point I’m about ready to cement our doors and windows shut. This definitely wasn’t in the roommate contract.  Sometimes I’m not even sure how she is getting into the room. But sure as dogs have 42 teeth, every night at […]

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Amateur DJ Forgot to Drop Bass Before Deadline

October 16, 2019 12:00 pm
Amateur DJ Forgot to Drop Bass Before Deadline

The add/drop deadline passed recently, solidifying which classes Stanford students will be taking and putting an end to the three-week class shopping period. However, distraught music major Liv Garcia shared that she neglected to drop the bass by the 5pm cutoff, which ended up ruining her DJ event last Friday. […]

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Carta Rolls Out New “Likelihood Your Professor Will Get MeToo’d” Statistic

October 9, 2019 12:00 pm
Carta Rolls Out New “Likelihood Your Professor Will Get MeToo’d” Statistic

This past week, news of the resignation of Marty Stepp, the subject of multiple Title IX investigations and a CS Lecturer who coincidentally was Facebook friends with an uncomfortable number of former students, shocked students and faculty across campus. The administration quickly jumped into high gear to do what it […]

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Study Reveals Cars Prefer Eating Cyclists With Helmets Over Those Without

12:00 pm
Study Reveals Cars Prefer Eating Cyclists With Helmets Over Those Without

New research on the gastronomical habits of motor vehicles has revealed that cars — and to a lesser extent buses, motorcycles, and trucks — express a significant dietary preference for cyclists wearing helmets over those who ride with scalp and hair exposed. Scientists have deduced that this is because, like […]

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