Lecture Attendance to Be Taken by New Facial Recognition Software After Stanford Partners With Palantir

December 11, 2019 6:15 pm
Lecture Attendance to Be Taken by New Facial Recognition Software After Stanford Partners With Palantir

In an effort to increase student participation, some lecture-based classes have begun to take attendance using facial recognition software. Cameras installed at the front of the lecture hall match the students sitting in seats with ID photos stored in the Stanford database. The system not only records students’ physical presence […]

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Real News: Students Gather in Front of Admin Building to Boo for 8 to 13 Minutes

6:13 pm
Real News: Students Gather in Front of Admin Building to Boo for 8 to 13 Minutes

A note from the desk of The Stanford Flipside: We are expanding our horizons into some real reporting, starting with this bad boy right here. Since our friends over at The Daily have made the leap on over to satire, we decided to try our hand at giving you the […]

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Stanford Defeats Racism with Screening of “Tubman,” A Movie About A Man Who Wakes Up as A Bathtub and Everyone Is Racist Against Him but At the End, They Learn to Accept Their Differences and Sing in A Circle and Take A Bath in Him

November 20, 2019 9:49 pm
Stanford Defeats Racism with Screening of “Tubman,” A Movie About A Man Who Wakes Up as A Bathtub and Everyone Is Racist Against Him but At the End, They Learn to Accept Their Differences and Sing in A Circle and Take A Bath in Him

Let’s have them three cheers and a slap on the ol’ ass, fellas, ‘cause this time there’s truly a cause for celebration! In a move of superb scheming and strategery that left even the best of us dazzled, rubbing our eyes like we haven’t slept for a few years, the […]

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Freshman Elated to Spend Next Three Years with Friends Who Will Abandon Him Spring Quarter

9:46 pm
Freshman Elated to Spend Next Three Years with Friends Who Will Abandon Him Spring Quarter

After a grueling and lonesome high school experience, Soto resident Justin Kennedy ’23 has been more than pleased with his first quarter at the Farm. More than anything, Kennedy is happy to have found himself a family of close-knit friends that will ultimately crumble to dust before his naïve boyish […]

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Guy Who Claims to “Hate to Play Devil’s Advocate” Plays Devil’s Advocate Again

9:45 pm
Guy Who Claims to “Hate to Play Devil’s Advocate” Plays Devil’s Advocate Again

In shocking news coming from the Tuesday afternoon section of POLISCI 153, senior Davie Carnick yet again insists upon playing devil’s advocate. Sitting in the front row, Carnick has always been the first to raise his hand; he feels it is his first amendment right to speak up and disagree […]

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Annotations by Former Textbook Owner Suggest They Were Truly Starting at Base Fucking Zero

November 12, 2019 11:52 pm
Annotations by Former Textbook Owner Suggest They Were Truly Starting at Base Fucking Zero

The results of a new investigation into the strange, sometimes incomprehensible annotations found in a used ‘Intro to Political Theory’ textbook unearthed from deep in the recesses of the Stanford Bookstore suggest that the prior owner was truly starting at base fucking zero. “Look, obviously the point of taking notes […]

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