Op-Ed: I’m a Real Person Just Like You, I Just Eat Other People

October 28, 2018 11:59 am
Op-Ed: I’m a Real Person Just Like You, I Just Eat Other People

I’m sick of being discriminated against. It’s no secret that it can be hard to be members of certain demographics on Stanford’s campus. I understand, I really do, that some people just don’t agree with certain opinions—and I fully believe in their right to say so. But damn it, I’ve […]

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Op-Ed: My Classmates Keep Playing Devil’s Advocate. I Want to Play God’s Advocate.

October 8, 2018 7:00 pm
Op-Ed: My Classmates Keep Playing Devil’s Advocate. I Want to Play God’s Advocate.

Every class I’m in, there always seems to be someone at hand to advocate for the will of Satan. And quite frankly? I’ve had enough of the imbalance. If everyone else is going to keep playing Devil’s Advocate, then it’s high time I play God’s. The Lord has a place […]

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A Senior Farewell

June 5, 2018 2:06 pm
A Senior Farewell

Fuck you! That’s right, do you really think we value you as a reader? We don’t. We never have, and we never will. You’re just meat–a lopsided globule of flesh with a level of consciousness barely adequate for understanding our comedy slop. You struggle with puzzles designed for children, you […]

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Op-Ed: How To Beat The Draw, By Me, The ShamWow Guy

May 30, 2018 12:00 pm
Op-Ed: How To Beat The Draw, By Me, The ShamWow Guy

Didn’t get your first choice? Suffering from fractured friendships? Over-eager to disrupt the private lives of upperclassmen who just want to graduate on time? Well buckle up, buttercup — here’s a pro’s inside scoop on how to really beat the Stanford Draw! Other insiders might tell you to pre-assign, return […]

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Op-Ed: I Made my Phone Screen Black and White Because a Vox Video Told Me to, and Now I’m Blind

March 19, 2018 12:03 am
Op-Ed: I Made my Phone Screen Black and White Because a Vox Video Told Me to, and Now I’m Blind

  That’s right folks, those internet trolls got me again, and this time it’s resulted in a pesky little problem: I’ve lost vision in both of my eyes. Last night, as I was browsing some of my favorite YouTube channels, which include Vox, NowThis and The Young Turks, I came […]

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Flipside News in Brief: Douchebags, Theater and the NRA

March 5, 2018 12:00 pm
Flipside News in Brief: Douchebags, Theater and the NRA

Notice of Correction: Douchebag Also Fucknose Last week, the Flipside published an article in which junior Trevor Pangloss was referred to as a “simpering douchebag.” However, it has since come to our attention that — although Pangloss is indeed a certifiable douchebag — he is also a festering fucknose. This […]

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