Sure, it’s a little scary to see Dr. Martin on Zoom with his face shrouded and voice gravelly, talking about the death of all good things. Sure, it’s concerning to see him go on wild tangents about his third ex-wife or the time he lived as a sex worker in […]

I got a job at NASA for the summer. You wouldn’t have heard about it, it was a secret internship where you had to crack a code on their website and then you could find out how to apply. And when I showed up for the interview I gave them […]

So there I was, just sitting in my trophy room in my super big house where all the celebrities live just watching ESPN’s top 10 plays from my little league season back in ’07 when the president of nasa snapchats me that my exclusive internship this summer is cancelled cause […]

I’m just writing this so all of you know that, even though I won’t be working at NASA this summer, I was totally going to. Just to be clear, I was chosen from a very large applicant pool of hot geniuses because I am the best. And also, I am […]

Okay, I’m pissed. One month ago, I had this summer all figured out: women, white claw, and the most prestigious NASA internship that they have, where they make me the big astronaut who goes up into space with the fast rocket ships. But thanks to this “corono virus,” there will […]