Op-Ed: I Tried Returning to Campus for My Stuff, and Now I’m Imprisoned in the Prison from the Stanford Prison Experiment

May 28, 2020 3:05 pm
Op-Ed: I Tried Returning to Campus for My Stuff, and Now I’m Imprisoned in the Prison from the Stanford Prison Experiment

As soon as I entered campus, I felt eyes begin to follow me. When I’d first decided to drive down from Oregon to pick up a few things from my dorm room, I didn’t think it would be a big deal. I really only had to clear out a sleeping […]

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I Accidentally Set My Zoom Background to a Looped Gif of the Challenger Explosion and I Have My “Respecting the Victims of the Challenger Explosion” Class in 2 Minutes

May 26, 2020 3:02 pm
I Accidentally Set My Zoom Background to a Looped Gif of the Challenger Explosion and I Have My “Respecting the Victims of the Challenger Explosion” Class in 2 Minutes
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Oops: I Changed My Zoom Display Name to the True Name of Yahweh and My Professor Exploded in a Plume of Brimstone

2:53 pm
Oops: I Changed My Zoom Display Name to the True Name of Yahweh and My Professor Exploded in a Plume of Brimstone

Earlier today during lecture, I was messing around on Zoom and noticed that you can change your display name to whatever you want. “What fun!” I thought to myself. “What a goof!” I was so innocent then, knowing not of the ancient and terrible forces I would unleash with my […]

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Op-Ed: Why Even Have Rush if We Can’t Spit Into Each Others’ Mouths?

May 17, 2020 11:48 am
Op-Ed: Why Even Have Rush if We Can’t Spit Into Each Others’ Mouths?
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Op-Ed: My Coronavirus Dreams Are Just Me Going Through My Normal Day But As A Worm

11:45 am
Op-Ed: My Coronavirus Dreams Are Just Me Going Through My Normal Day But As A Worm

It seems that this virus has really wormed its way into everyones’ psyches! Since lockdown started, the nation’s collective dreamscape has been weird as shit. My friend has recurring nightmares about being hunted for sport by ecofascists in the Wyoming swamplands, for example, and my aunt keeps dreaming about kneading […]

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Report: Vivid Incest Dreams Totally Normal, Everybody Else is Having Them Too

May 12, 2020 4:34 pm
Report: Vivid Incest Dreams Totally Normal, Everybody Else is Having Them Too
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