Amazing – Schoolyard Kid Single-Handedly Eliminates Bullying by Choosing Smallest, Wimpiest Kid for His Recess Dodgeball Team

February 14, 2020 9:57 am
Amazing – Schoolyard Kid Single-Handedly Eliminates Bullying by Choosing Smallest, Wimpiest Kid for His Recess Dodgeball Team

The sun was out, the birds were chirping, and the 8.5-inch rubber dodgeballs were ready to fly. The captains were chosen per the tried-and-true unspoken understanding of who was most popular, and the masses lined up as seriously as if they were being drafted to go fight on the front […]

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Op-Ed: I’m an Assistant Professor and I Show You I’m Cool Through My Hip Emails

9:52 am
Op-Ed: I’m an Assistant Professor and I Show You I’m Cool Through My Hip Emails

Hey, little dude. It’s me, your assistant professor in his mid-thirties, the one with the cool bolo tie. I’m just writing up this quick little email to let you know that I’m super young and relatable. I’m you in five years, or maybe twelve. I sign my emails with my […]

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Disastrous Iowa Caucuses Were Using Stanford Web Authentication Services, Investigation Reveals

February 6, 2020 1:19 am
Disastrous Iowa Caucuses Were Using Stanford Web Authentication Services, Investigation Reveals

Technological and infrastructural complications with the Iowa caucuses earlier this week have been traced to one fatal flaw, third-party investigators have announced: the Iowa Democratic National Committee’s online voting infrastructure relied on Stanford web authentication services in order to process voters. After half-a-dozen different parts of the Iowa DNC’s voting […]

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Awkward! I Was Sitting on the Toilet When This Old Man Leaned His Head Under the Stall and Offered to Tell Me the Fate of Mankind If I Answered His Riddles Three

February 5, 2020 2:05 pm
Awkward! I Was Sitting on the Toilet When This Old Man Leaned His Head Under the Stall and Offered to Tell Me the Fate of Mankind If I Answered His Riddles Three

You can never get any peace and quiet these days, can you? Once upon a time there was such a thing as knocking before entering a room or asking before sharing jockstraps, but nowadays everything is just free rein. The bathroom is the only safe haven left…or so I thought. […]

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Amazon Sues Rainforest for Copyright Infringement

February 2, 2020 7:13 pm
Amazon Sues Rainforest for Copyright Infringement

The infamous tech giant Amazon Inc., coming off the scandal of losing a Pentagon contract to their Seattle neighbor, has shifted their focus to bigger and better problems in the world of copyright infringement. As of this Thursday, it has purportedly directed its attention to its latest court filing against […]

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John Bolton Catfished Into Congressional Testimony by Adam Schiff Pretending to be Busty Young Ukrainian

4:29 pm
John Bolton Catfished Into Congressional Testimony by Adam Schiff Pretending to be Busty Young Ukrainian

As a result of growing uncertainty surrounding whether current Challenger rank I in League of Legends and former national security advisor John Bolton would testify in the ongoing impeachment trial of Donald Trump or not, it was a shock to all in the courtroom when Mr. Bolton charged into the […]

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