Newly-Announced Strain of ‘Cuties’ Never Goes Bad, Even as Image on Packaging Rots Away

January 22, 2019 7:00 pm
Newly-Announced Strain of ‘Cuties’ Never Goes Bad, Even as Image on Packaging Rots Away

Grocery stores will soon have a little something extra to offer hungry shoppers, following an announcement by the ‘Cuties’ brand of a soon-to-be-released type of clementine that will reportedly never go bad. Instead, the multinational fruit conglomerate promises, the grinning cartoon mascot that adorns every package will slowly rot away, […]

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Refugee Crisis Erupts After Tumblr Bans Porn

January 14, 2019 7:00 pm
FILE- In this Wednesday, July 29, 2015 photo, a Syrian refugee boy plays with a tire at Zaatari refugee camp, in Mafraq, Jordan. The United Arab Emirates on Wednesday, Sept. 9, 2015 defended its response to the Syrian refugee crisis in the face of criticism that the country and other oil-rich Gulf states should be doing more to address the issue. (AP Photo/Raad Adayleh, File)

Riots broke out yesterday evening on the borders of Twitter, DeviantArt, and other digital territories after Tumblr announced last month that it would be banning various kinds of pornographic content, ranging from female collarbones to BDSM tentacle extravaganzas. Crackdowns began on December 17, involving so-called “peacekeepers” knocking down the doors […]

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Op-Ed: I’m a Social Media Influenzer – And It’s Fucking Sick

October 26, 2018 1:16 pm
Op-Ed: I’m a Social Media Influenzer – And It’s Fucking Sick

You read that right – social media influenzer. My job is to spread ~sickness~ wherever I go. What exactly does my job entail? Well, I work for NightQuil Industries, a company that sells cold and flu medicine. They were really struggling with their social media presence, so they decided to […]

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Amazon Raises Minimum Wage for Workers to 15 Rupees Per Hour

October 22, 2018 5:00 pm
Amazon Raises Minimum Wage for Workers to 15 Rupees Per Hour

In a move that has been widely hailed as progressive and humanitarian, Amazon.com Inc. has announced that it will be raising the minimum wage of its employees to 15 rupees per hour—about a fifth of a US dollar—from the previous minimum of 10 rupees.  Jeff Bezos, Founder/Chairman/President/CEO/Evil Mastermind of Amazon, […]

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Fuck, Marry, Park: These Three Cars

October 15, 2018 7:00 pm
Fuck, Marry, Park: These Three Cars
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Silicon Valley Thrilled by New “Uber for Serfs” Startup

May 29, 2018 12:00 pm
Silicon Valley Thrilled by New “Uber for Serfs” Startup

In an announcement that has sent shockwaves across Silicon Valley, a new startup billing itself as “Uber for Serfs” has announced plans to go public later this month. The startup, feef, is already attracting hordes of eager VC’s looking to get a stake in the company before its shares skyrocket […]

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