Articles by: Ben Harley Davidson

Op-Ed: So What If I Put Sweet-and-Savory Ham, Black Forest Turkey, a Delectable Cheese Selection, and Honey Dijon on My Pop Tart?

March 1, 2020 10:26 amComments Off on Op-Ed: So What If I Put Sweet-and-Savory Ham, Black Forest Turkey, a Delectable Cheese Selection, and Honey Dijon on My Pop Tart?
Op-Ed: So What If I Put Sweet-and-Savory Ham, Black Forest Turkey, a Delectable Cheese Selection, and Honey Dijon on My Pop Tart?

Sandwich-making is a secret lore, a tradition, an art— and though I must work with imperfect ingredients and facilities, only a poor artist blames their tools. It’s my love of the sandwich which fuels me, not some vain indulgence which takes gluttonous joy in using only the priciest parts. ’Tis […]

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Student Staff Group Interview Devolves into Bloodbath After RF Throws Snapped Pool Cue, Depressed Frosh into Room

February 14, 2020 10:10 amComments Off on Student Staff Group Interview Devolves into Bloodbath After RF Throws Snapped Pool Cue, Depressed Frosh into Room
Student Staff Group Interview Devolves into Bloodbath After RF Throws Snapped Pool Cue, Depressed Frosh into Room

Applications for next year’s Resident Assistant roles at Otero took a dark turn last Saturday after what presented itself as a lighthearted opportunity for Resident Fellows to meet prospective RAs resulted in blood being spilled on the dorm’s carpeted floors. According to one survivor, Julia Juárez ’21, the applicants began […]

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Disastrous Iowa Caucuses Were Using Stanford Web Authentication Services, Investigation Reveals

February 6, 2020 1:19 amComments Off on Disastrous Iowa Caucuses Were Using Stanford Web Authentication Services, Investigation Reveals
Disastrous Iowa Caucuses Were Using Stanford Web Authentication Services, Investigation Reveals

Technological and infrastructural complications with the Iowa caucuses earlier this week have been traced to one fatal flaw, third-party investigators have announced: the Iowa Democratic National Committee’s online voting infrastructure relied on Stanford web authentication services in order to process voters. After half-a-dozen different parts of the Iowa DNC’s voting […]

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Dear SCR: If I Use Dark Magicks to Infuse an Unholy Flesh-Golem with a Soul, But Abort the Ritual Prematurely, Is That Murder?

January 24, 2020 9:55 amComments Off on Dear SCR: If I Use Dark Magicks to Infuse an Unholy Flesh-Golem with a Soul, But Abort the Ritual Prematurely, Is That Murder?
Dear SCR: If I Use Dark Magicks to Infuse an Unholy Flesh-Golem with a Soul, But Abort the Ritual Prematurely, Is That Murder?

Prithee listen, thou kindly Stanford College Republicans, and heed my request for your counsel. I have initiated magicks most foule that — shouldst they continue undisturbed — will seize upon some lost soul from the aether and bind it, helpless at my hands, to a husk of flesh and fluid […]

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Op-Ed: From Now On, if a Friend Shows Me a “Funny Video” and It’s Not Funny, I’m Going to Strangle Them with a Plastic Bag

January 15, 2020 1:01 pmComments Off on Op-Ed: From Now On, if a Friend Shows Me a “Funny Video” and It’s Not Funny, I’m Going to Strangle Them with a Plastic Bag
Op-Ed: From Now On, if a Friend Shows Me a “Funny Video” and It’s Not Funny, I’m Going to Strangle Them with a Plastic Bag

You’ve had it happen to you, haven’t you? A friend, a comrade, someone with whom you’ve entrusted the very secrets of your soul, they usher you into some dark corner and whip their phone out of a pocket like a magician who’s setting up for the last and greatest trick […]

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Amid Data Leak Scandal, Queer Chart CEO Testifies Before ASSU Congress

December 11, 2019 6:16 pmComments Off on Amid Data Leak Scandal, Queer Chart CEO Testifies Before ASSU Congress
View, from the balcony, of congressmen and congresswomen on the house floor as the 115th Congress is called into session on its opening day, Washington DC, January 3, 2017. (Photo by Mark Reinstein/Corbis via Getty Images)

In a highly publicized inquiry, founder and CEO of Queer Chart Samantha Techington testified in front of the ASSU Congress all throughout last week, answering questions about security vulnerabilities in the program. Queer Chart — an app designed to bring together queer womxn on Stanford’s campus — was previously revealed […]

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Real News: Students Gather in Front of Admin Building to Boo for 8 to 13 Minutes

6:13 pmComments Off on Real News: Students Gather in Front of Admin Building to Boo for 8 to 13 Minutes
Real News: Students Gather in Front of Admin Building to Boo for 8 to 13 Minutes

A note from the desk of The Stanford Flipside: We are expanding our horizons into some real reporting, starting with this bad boy right here. Since our friends over at The Daily have made the leap on over to satire, we decided to try our hand at giving you the […]

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Stanford Defeats Racism with Screening of “Tubman,” A Movie About A Man Who Wakes Up as A Bathtub and Everyone Is Racist Against Him but At the End, They Learn to Accept Their Differences and Sing in A Circle and Take A Bath in Him

November 20, 2019 9:49 pmComments Off on Stanford Defeats Racism with Screening of “Tubman,” A Movie About A Man Who Wakes Up as A Bathtub and Everyone Is Racist Against Him but At the End, They Learn to Accept Their Differences and Sing in A Circle and Take A Bath in Him
Stanford Defeats Racism with Screening of “Tubman,” A Movie About A Man Who Wakes Up as A Bathtub and Everyone Is Racist Against Him but At the End, They Learn to Accept Their Differences and Sing in A Circle and Take A Bath in Him

Let’s have them three cheers and a slap on the ol’ ass, fellas, ‘cause this time there’s truly a cause for celebration! In a move of superb scheming and strategery that left even the best of us dazzled, rubbing our eyes like we haven’t slept for a few years, the […]

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Stanford Justifies Campus Expansion as “Reclaiming Promised Lands” Gifted to Dying Leland Stanford Jr. by God Himself

9:48 pmComments Off on Stanford Justifies Campus Expansion as “Reclaiming Promised Lands” Gifted to Dying Leland Stanford Jr. by God Himself
Stanford Justifies Campus Expansion as “Reclaiming Promised Lands” Gifted to Dying Leland Stanford Jr. by God Himself

“This is what we’ve been training for, folks!” Harry Elam Jr. barked to the phalanxes of engineering students lined up before him. Stepping down as Vice Provost for Undergraduate Education had cleared up a good bit of time for Elam to become chief tactician for the glorious Stanford Empire, and […]

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Op-Ed: My Wii Fit Trainer Keeps Telling Me How the Poor Are Just Lazy and Entitled In-Between Poses, and It’s a Little Disturbing

November 12, 2019 11:54 pmComments Off on Op-Ed: My Wii Fit Trainer Keeps Telling Me How the Poor Are Just Lazy and Entitled In-Between Poses, and It’s a Little Disturbing
Op-Ed: My Wii Fit Trainer Keeps Telling Me How the Poor Are Just Lazy and Entitled In-Between Poses, and It’s a Little Disturbing

“Let’s try the Half-Moon Pose,” she says, her silky-smooth voice sliding down the nape of my neck like a bucket of leeches. “This stance can help align your spine.” I remind myself that I’m not attracted to a set of polygons and it’s back to business as usual. I’ve been […]

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