Articles by: Ben Harley Davidson

Dear SCR: If I Use Dark Magicks to Infuse an Unholy Flesh-Golem with a Soul, But Abort the Ritual Prematurely, Is That Murder?

January 24, 2020 9:55 amComments Off on Dear SCR: If I Use Dark Magicks to Infuse an Unholy Flesh-Golem with a Soul, But Abort the Ritual Prematurely, Is That Murder?
Dear SCR: If I Use Dark Magicks to Infuse an Unholy Flesh-Golem with a Soul, But Abort the Ritual Prematurely, Is That Murder?

Prithee listen, thou kindly Stanford College Republicans, and heed my request for your counsel. I have initiated magicks most foule that — shouldst they continue undisturbed — will seize upon some lost soul from the aether and bind it, helpless at my hands, to a husk of flesh and fluid […]

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Op-Ed: From Now On, if a Friend Shows Me a “Funny Video” and It’s Not Funny, I’m Going to Strangle Them with a Plastic Bag

January 15, 2020 1:01 pmComments Off on Op-Ed: From Now On, if a Friend Shows Me a “Funny Video” and It’s Not Funny, I’m Going to Strangle Them with a Plastic Bag
Op-Ed: From Now On, if a Friend Shows Me a “Funny Video” and It’s Not Funny, I’m Going to Strangle Them with a Plastic Bag

You’ve had it happen to you, haven’t you? A friend, a comrade, someone with whom you’ve entrusted the very secrets of your soul, they usher you into some dark corner and whip their phone out of a pocket like a magician who’s setting up for the last and greatest trick […]

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Amid Data Leak Scandal, Queer Chart CEO Testifies Before ASSU Congress

December 11, 2019 6:16 pmComments Off on Amid Data Leak Scandal, Queer Chart CEO Testifies Before ASSU Congress
View, from the balcony, of congressmen and congresswomen on the house floor as the 115th Congress is called into session on its opening day, Washington DC, January 3, 2017. (Photo by Mark Reinstein/Corbis via Getty Images)

In a highly publicized inquiry, founder and CEO of Queer Chart Samantha Techington testified in front of the ASSU Congress all throughout last week, answering questions about security vulnerabilities in the program. Queer Chart — an app designed to bring together queer womxn on Stanford’s campus — was previously revealed […]

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Real News: Students Gather in Front of Admin Building to Boo for 8 to 13 Minutes

6:13 pmComments Off on Real News: Students Gather in Front of Admin Building to Boo for 8 to 13 Minutes
Real News: Students Gather in Front of Admin Building to Boo for 8 to 13 Minutes

A note from the desk of The Stanford Flipside: We are expanding our horizons into some real reporting, starting with this bad boy right here. Since our friends over at The Daily have made the leap on over to satire, we decided to try our hand at giving you the […]

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Stanford Defeats Racism with Screening of “Tubman,” A Movie About A Man Who Wakes Up as A Bathtub and Everyone Is Racist Against Him but At the End, They Learn to Accept Their Differences and Sing in A Circle and Take A Bath in Him

November 20, 2019 9:49 pmComments Off on Stanford Defeats Racism with Screening of “Tubman,” A Movie About A Man Who Wakes Up as A Bathtub and Everyone Is Racist Against Him but At the End, They Learn to Accept Their Differences and Sing in A Circle and Take A Bath in Him
Stanford Defeats Racism with Screening of “Tubman,” A Movie About A Man Who Wakes Up as A Bathtub and Everyone Is Racist Against Him but At the End, They Learn to Accept Their Differences and Sing in A Circle and Take A Bath in Him

Let’s have them three cheers and a slap on the ol’ ass, fellas, ‘cause this time there’s truly a cause for celebration! In a move of superb scheming and strategery that left even the best of us dazzled, rubbing our eyes like we haven’t slept for a few years, the […]

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Stanford Justifies Campus Expansion as “Reclaiming Promised Lands” Gifted to Dying Leland Stanford Jr. by God Himself

9:48 pmComments Off on Stanford Justifies Campus Expansion as “Reclaiming Promised Lands” Gifted to Dying Leland Stanford Jr. by God Himself
Stanford Justifies Campus Expansion as “Reclaiming Promised Lands” Gifted to Dying Leland Stanford Jr. by God Himself

“This is what we’ve been training for, folks!” Harry Elam Jr. barked to the phalanxes of engineering students lined up before him. Stepping down as Vice Provost for Undergraduate Education had cleared up a good bit of time for Elam to become chief tactician for the glorious Stanford Empire, and […]

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Op-Ed: My Wii Fit Trainer Keeps Telling Me How the Poor Are Just Lazy and Entitled In-Between Poses, and It’s a Little Disturbing

November 12, 2019 11:54 pmComments Off on Op-Ed: My Wii Fit Trainer Keeps Telling Me How the Poor Are Just Lazy and Entitled In-Between Poses, and It’s a Little Disturbing
Op-Ed: My Wii Fit Trainer Keeps Telling Me How the Poor Are Just Lazy and Entitled In-Between Poses, and It’s a Little Disturbing

“Let’s try the Half-Moon Pose,” she says, her silky-smooth voice sliding down the nape of my neck like a bucket of leeches. “This stance can help align your spine.” I remind myself that I’m not attracted to a set of polygons and it’s back to business as usual. I’ve been […]

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In Final Trick of the Night, Top-Hatted Ben Shapiro Uses Facts and Logic to Make Minimum Wage ~Disappear~

November 6, 2019 12:00 pmComments Off on In Final Trick of the Night, Top-Hatted Ben Shapiro Uses Facts and Logic to Make Minimum Wage ~Disappear~
In Final Trick of the Night, Top-Hatted Ben Shapiro Uses Facts and Logic to Make Minimum Wage ~Disappear~

Performing in Stanford’s Memorial Auditorium on Thursday night, amateur magician Ben Shapiro wowed his audience with an array of tricks and illusions, from escaping waterboarding torture while handcuffed to pulling a trans person out of his top-hat and misgendering them. The biggest feat of the night came at the end […]

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The Secret Life of Pets 3: I Walked In On My Dog Running A Prostitution Ring in My Basement

October 29, 2019 4:29 pmComments Off on The Secret Life of Pets 3: I Walked In On My Dog Running A Prostitution Ring in My Basement
The Secret Life of Pets 3: I Walked In On My Dog Running A Prostitution Ring in My Basement

My dog Denver has been with me since I was a wee lad. We got him when he was just a lil’ puppy, a fluffy ol’ Siberian Husky with eyes that could make a lumberjack weep. And he grew up good – always by my side – only ever getting […]

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Op Ed: How Does It Feel To Take A Life, Charles?

October 23, 2019 12:00 pmComments Off on Op Ed: How Does It Feel To Take A Life, Charles?
Op Ed: How Does It Feel To Take A Life, Charles?

Look at me, Charles. No, no — don’t look away. Don’t you dare try to get out of this one, Charles. We know what you did, and you’re not getting out of it this time. You smushed that ant, Charles, and for what — the sin of wanting a taste […]

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