Articles by: Ben Harley Davidson

Op Ed: I Drew Into Harry Elam Jr.’s Kitchen

June 10, 2019 12:00 pmComments Off on Op Ed: I Drew Into Harry Elam Jr.’s Kitchen
Op Ed: I Drew Into Harry Elam Jr.’s Kitchen

Look, I was disappointed at first about my draw number of 8310, but turns out living in Vice Provost for Education Harry Elam Jr.’s kitchen isn’t the worst thing in the world. He gives me back rubs every day and it almost makes up for the fact that he’s manacled […]

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Op Ed: To Prepare for the Math 51 Final, I Created a “Mind Palace” Full of Dancing, Anthropomorphic Versions of the Digits Zero Through Nine

12:00 pmComments Off on Op Ed: To Prepare for the Math 51 Final, I Created a “Mind Palace” Full of Dancing, Anthropomorphic Versions of the Digits Zero Through Nine
Op Ed: To Prepare for the Math 51 Final, I Created a “Mind Palace” Full of Dancing, Anthropomorphic Versions of the Digits Zero Through Nine

When you first see a math problem on the impending Math 51 final, how will your piddling neurons respond? Upon reaching a particularly tricksy question, will your simple brain opt to solve it? You moron. You fool. You absolute shitbrain. I’ve moved far beyond such base concerns, for you see, […]

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CS Department to Add Karaoke Subtitle Mode to Lectures, Bouncy Dot Included

May 31, 2019 12:00 pmComments Off on CS Department to Add Karaoke Subtitle Mode to Lectures, Bouncy Dot Included
CS Department to Add Karaoke Subtitle Mode to Lectures, Bouncy Dot Included

In an attempt to try to restore popularity to the discipline of computer science here on campus after the crushing blow of the removal of the popular CS+X program, Stanford’s CS department has announced its plan to provide subtitles with every lecture recording with an added twist: these subtitles will […]

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Attention Earthlings: We Are Now Entering the Umami Phase of the Moon’s Orbit

12:00 pmComments Off on Attention Earthlings: We Are Now Entering the Umami Phase of the Moon’s Orbit
Attention Earthlings: We Are Now Entering the Umami Phase of the Moon’s Orbit

Waxing sweet, waning sour, new bitter, full salty: we’ve lived with these basic four moon orbit-flavors for our entire lives, and we’re used to them. But far fewer people know of a fifth secret phase, one that only occurs once every two hundred years when the celestial bodies line up […]

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Op Ed: Yes, I’m Addicted to Communion Wafers, and No, I Won’t Shut Up About It

May 21, 2019 5:00 pmComments Off on Op Ed: Yes, I’m Addicted to Communion Wafers, and No, I Won’t Shut Up About It
Op Ed: Yes, I’m Addicted to Communion Wafers, and No, I Won’t Shut Up About It

There’s this part in the New Testament where Jesus rips off a chunk of his body and turns it into Communion wafers and is all, “Yo, eat some of my flesh!” And while some “progressive” Christians want to claim that that’s a metaphor or whatever, those sadsack excuses for Jeliebers […]

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ResX is Susie Brubaker-Cole Playing Minecraft Alone in a Dark Room for 16 Hours a Day Making Her Perfect Stanford

May 20, 2019 11:59 amComments Off on ResX is Susie Brubaker-Cole Playing Minecraft Alone in a Dark Room for 16 Hours a Day Making Her Perfect Stanford
ResX is Susie Brubaker-Cole Playing Minecraft Alone in a Dark Room for 16 Hours a Day Making Her Perfect Stanford

Sources recently revealed to the Flipside that Vice Provost for Student Affairs Susie Brubaker-Cole is super dedicated to her job. No, really. She’s putting in 80+ hours a week, but maybe that’s also because she’s all of ResX: a one-woman team, trying to make living at Stanford a better place […]

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I Frantically Ran Up to An Allegory of a Decrepit, Limping, Blind, Albino Man to Demand Answers Pertaining to Universal Truth

May 18, 2019 4:44 pmComments Off on I Frantically Ran Up to An Allegory of a Decrepit, Limping, Blind, Albino Man to Demand Answers Pertaining to Universal Truth
I Frantically Ran Up to An Allegory of a Decrepit, Limping, Blind, Albino Man to Demand Answers Pertaining to Universal Truth

There I was, late last night, lost and dripping with confusion over the fields of disillusionment. I was miserable, dear reader, because in the wandering of the great desert-snows that is this existence, I had yet to find confirmation of any great Truth, for the seeking of that one final […]

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Jeff Bezos Donates $800 Million to Reconstruct Notre Dame on Condition He Can Use as Fuck Shack

April 30, 2019 7:00 pmComments Off on Jeff Bezos Donates $800 Million to Reconstruct Notre Dame on Condition He Can Use as Fuck Shack
Jeff Bezos Donates $800 Million to Reconstruct Notre Dame on Condition He Can Use as Fuck Shack

Public support for the reconstruction of the Notre-Dame de Paris after its devastating fire a few weeks has been immense, though perhaps none of that has been as public or immense as Jeff Bezos’ declaration that he intends to donate $800 million—about 717 million euros—to help rebuild the historic cathedral […]

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An Inside Look at Stanford in the Year 2100

April 23, 2019 7:00 pmComments Off on An Inside Look at Stanford in the Year 2100
An Inside Look at Stanford in the Year 2100

In the wake of the esteemed Susie Brubaker Cole’s report describing the neighborhood housing program to be implemented over the next century, we thought to consult our resident prophets and oracles to provide our beloved readers at a glimpse for what the Stanford campus that we call home might look […]

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‘Game of Thrones’ In Shambles After Joe Biden Cameo Cut At Last Minute

7:00 pmComments Off on ‘Game of Thrones’ In Shambles After Joe Biden Cameo Cut At Last Minute
‘Game of Thrones’ In Shambles After Joe Biden Cameo Cut At Last Minute

Eager fans were shocked on Sunday to discover that the usually top-notch HBO fantasy show Game of Thrones had dropped sharply in quality for its eighth and final season. In an exclusive interview with the Flipside, showrunner David Nutter explained that this was the result of major cuts to a […]

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