For Sale: Mister Blister

October 23, 2017 12:00 pm
For Sale: Mister Blister

Are you a small-to-midsize ointment supplier looking to take your business in an exciting new direction? Do you sell lotions, online or door-to-door, but want to develop a more cohesive brand identity? Have you always dreamt of creating an icon as recognizable as Tony the Tiger or the Geico Gecko? […]

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At Quiznos, The Customer Is Always Right, Even If That Customer Is Conspiracy Theorist Alex Jones

March 16, 2017 9:00 am
At Quiznos, The Customer Is Always Right, Even If That Customer Is Conspiracy Theorist Alex Jones

Here at Quiznos Subs and Sandwiches, we have a little saying: “The customer is always right.” They want their bread toasted? Done. They want the onions grilled? A-ok. They want to mix ketchup and mustard together into a new, ungodly condiment? Who are we to tell them no! So when […]

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Russian Oligarch “Totally Fine” With Putin Seeing Other Businessmen

March 11, 2017 9:57 am
Russian Oligarch “Totally Fine” With Putin Seeing Other Businessmen

Russian oil tycoon Dmitri Spirakov, multi-billionaire and shadow operator of the Russian state, has announced that he “has absolutely no problem” with President Vladimir Putin seeing other corrupt magnates too. “No, no, it’s totally fine with me”, commented the massively wealthy petroleum baron. “Putin has been very clear that ours […]

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Wow! Hooters Just Hired 2,000 Huge-Breasted Men

February 27, 2017 12:00 pm
Wow! Hooters Just Hired 2,000 Huge-Breasted Men
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Satire Dead? Don’t Worry, ‘The Onion’ Doing Fine Thanks To Investments In Blood Diamonds

February 6, 2017 12:00 pm
Satire Dead? Don’t Worry, ‘The Onion’ Doing Fine Thanks To Investments In Blood Diamonds

The past few weeks have been difficult for satirists the world over, as the Trump administration’s increasingly outlandish policy proposals have made even the silliest of satirical premises seem dour and plausible by comparison. Of particular concern to commenters around the world has been the future ‘The Onion’, a genre-defining […]

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As Chuck-e-Cheese approaches IPO, competing chain Salmonella Sam’s struggles to remain in business

January 28, 2017 1:07 pm
As Chuck-e-Cheese approaches IPO, competing chain Salmonella Sam’s struggles to remain in business

At the Chuck-e-Cheese on Lorendale drive in West Bennet, the parking lot is full and children drag their parents back each and every weekend for more fun. This scene is just about the same in every town across America — even after years of operation, Chuck-e-Cheese is still reaping in […]

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