Browsing Category

Local

256 posts

Cashier in publix forcefully stops man (me) from shoving an entire iced bundt cake down my throat in a crime of passion

“I hate and I love. Why do I do this, perhaps you…

Stanford GSB Students Great at Spreading Viral Products

Twenty clowns indicted for murder after hit and run from single Honda Civic 

Op-Ed: Yikes! I Accidentally Joined My Professor’s Divorce Zoom Call and Now I Have to Act Like His Emotionally Traumatized, Estranged Daughter So He Doesn’t Lose His House

Uh oh! When my linguistics professor sent out an email with only…

I asked my mom to simulate a freshman year dorm experience and she single-handedly crippled the relationships with my high school friends and peed on my bed at 3 in the morning

Now that I have my official diploma from my math major, I can finally know Krelb, the “wretched numeral” between 4 and 5

Senior Still Hasn’t Come to Terms with Fact That They’ll Never Vomit Cajun Fries into an Old Union Toilet Again

Sitting absentmindedly on the couch, watching their ninth consecutive episode of Netflix…

Bike Left on Campus Gets Struck by Lightning and Gains Sentience — But Slowly Goes Insane Because It is Chained Outside to a Sign-pole and Cannot Escape

He calls himself Nork. A rusting grey Schwinn, he sits day after…

Elitist Fœtus Refuses To Be Born Until Ivy Leagues Open Back Up

Boston, MA— In protest of recent Covid-19 closures, a 7-month-old fœtus is…

An Open Letter to My Aunt Doris Who is Learning to Use the Internet

Dear Aunt Doris, I am proud of you. You have worked hard…