Queso Crisis: Exhausted Cheese Grating Waiter Still Waiting for a “When”

February 25, 2019 11:59 am
Queso Crisis: Exhausted Cheese Grating Waiter Still Waiting for a “When”

It all began with senior Zoe Baldoro, a delicious bowl of gnocchi cooked to perfection, and a tasteful Chianti on the side. As she began to gleefully dig into the pasta, the waiter rushed over with a block of perfectly wrapped parmesan and asked her whether she wanted any on […]

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Sad: I Started an Escape Room in My Basement and These Kidnapped Vagrants are NOT Working Together Well Enough to Beat it

February 19, 2019 7:00 pm
Sad: I Started an Escape Room in My Basement and These Kidnapped Vagrants are NOT Working Together Well Enough to Beat it
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Report: Area Man Whose Birthday is on Christmas Thinks He’s Jesus

December 10, 2018 7:00 pm
Report: Area Man Whose Birthday is on Christmas Thinks He’s Jesus

PALO ALTO, CA – In the last forty-eight hours, Albert Shurenberg, a longtime Palo Alto resident and certified Vehicle Clinician at Crazy Al’s Chrysler Confederation, has been “going off” on social media about how he is, in fact the second coming of Jesus Christ. His proof? Mr. Shurberg was born […]

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Area Man Invents Bayonet So He Can Bring Knife to Gun Fight

November 4, 2018 11:00 am
Area Man Invents Bayonet So He Can Bring Knife to Gun Fight

Noting that he always seems to lose his cowboy-style showdowns —  by a hair, he will tell you, by a hair — local man Fernando Frazco finally decided this week that he’d had enough. And so, with some duct tape, elbow grease and a sprinkling of self-love, Frazco bootstrapped up […]

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Confused Drug Dealer Guns Down Man Wearing “Female Body Inspector” Novelty Shirt

October 22, 2018 7:00 pm
Confused Drug Dealer Guns Down Man Wearing “Female Body Inspector” Novelty Shirt

Tragedy struck late Sunday night when local drug dealer Ricky “The Goon” “The Man” “Goon Man” Randazzo, believing his cocaine operation had finally been found out by the Feds, shot to death a man wearing a novelty “Female Body Inspector” t-shirt. The victim, Carter Fribb, had bought the misleading shirt […]

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Paint Thief Caught Red-Handed

May 24, 2018 9:36 am
Paint Thief Caught Red-Handed
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