In what has been dubbed the “the chillest camp since David,” heads of state from both Israel and Palestine met on Wilbur Field this week to play volleyball, smoke weed, and just generally kick back after a stressful quarter in the first-ever “Camp Stanford Accords.” Explained University President Marc Tessier-Lavigne, who organized the event: “Top leadership from Likud and the PLO are always so uptight and focused on their work, ya feel? P-sets, essays, militarizing the West Bank, extracurriculars — it’s just nice to have a little time at the end of the year to enjoy the beautiful weather!” At press time, Mahmoud Abbas and Benjamin Netanyahu had gotten into a minor altercation after not being able to agree who would get the last blue freeze-pop left in the box.

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