Tuesday night’s debate was rife with more sexual tension than Ghislaine Maxwell in a room filled with underage girls. Even I was starting to get hot and bothered by the incessant, back-and-forth flirting. After all, you know what they say–when a boy is mean to you, it just means he […]
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Op-Ed: Yikes! I Accidentally Joined My Professor’s Divorce Zoom Call and Now I Have to Act Like His Emotionally Traumatized, Estranged Daughter So He Doesn’t Lose His House
Uh oh! When my linguistics professor sent out an email with only a zoom link, it seems like I was the only one in class who wasn’t...
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NFL Players Nonchalant About Daily Risk of Crippling Head Trauma Weirdly Terrified By COVID
As American sports begins the slow process to reopening and getting back on track in a COVID-ridden world, the National Football League...
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The LORD Divideth Not the Rind from the Flesh. So Sayeth the LORD, Eat the Watermelon in Whole.
As it is written in the Scripture, the LORD maketh all the Fruits of the Land, from the Grape of the Vineyard to the Apple of the Eye,...
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Op-Ed: To Ensure My Vote Counts I Nailed A Copy of My Ballot to Every Door in My State Capitol
You heard me right. With all the damn kerfuffle around ballots and voting for the upcoming election I wasn’t going to trust any of...
Headlines
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SCR confused by instructions to “Stand Back and Stand By”
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Underwater gender reveal incurs Poseidon’s wrath, sinks Taiwan
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I asked my mom to simulate a freshman year dorm experience and she single-handedly crippled the relationships with my high school friends and peed on my bed at 3 in the morning
- Government promises to stick glowing vial of untested liquid into your arm by Thanksgiving
- Now that I have my official diploma from my math major, I can finally know Krelb, the “wretched numeral” between 4 and 5
- Whoops! Local cop shoots self in foot (figuratively) by shooting protester in head (literally)
Stanford
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Canvas hit with lawsuit over constant emails, deemed cyberstalking
Students all across the Stanford community have filed a class action lawsuit against the Canvas...
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Mastermind Frosh Taking Fifteen Lecture Series at Same Time
The Flipside recently had the great privilege of interviewing Brett Pham, a frosh whose claim to...
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Club Cardinal Now Distributing In-Game Currency Based on Your Financial Aid
The developers behind the Club Cardinal platform have partnered directly with Stanford’s financial...
- A Graduation Farewell, from the Flipside Seniors
- Board of Trustees Declare Commitment to Treating All Communities with Respect, Especially Fossil Fuel Companies
- Report: Hundreds of Catalytic Converters Found in MTL’s Basement
Politics
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SCR confused by instructions to “Stand Back and Stand By”
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The First Presidential Debate Was Too Hot for Television
Tuesday night’s debate was rife with more sexual tension than Ghislaine Maxwell in a room filled...
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Government promises to stick glowing vial of untested liquid into your arm by Thanksgiving
- Op-Ed: To Ensure My Vote Counts I Nailed A Copy of My Ballot to Every Door in My State Capitol
- Joe Biden Promises That His VP Pick Will be a Woman, and a Jewess No Less!
- Trump to Successfully Re-open Country by “Solstice of the Goats,” an Ancient Pagan Holiday He Just Reintroduced
Opinion
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Op-Ed: To Ensure My Vote Counts I Nailed A Copy of My Ballot to Every Door in My State Capitol
You heard me right. With all the damn kerfuffle around ballots and voting for the upcoming election...
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I Was Going to Let My Daughter Draw on Our Walls So She Could Express Herself, But Her Composition Was Shit and She Clearly Doesn’t Grasp Proper Symmetry So I Bleached the Walls
My daughter somehow found the crayon set I bought when I decided a few weeks ago that I’d draw...
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Zoom Sucks! Now It’s Not Fun to Masturbate in Class
Look, don’t get me wrong; my sock drawer has been emptied for weeks and every grocery store within...
- Op-Ed: I Can’t Take News from Gavin Newsom Because I’m Too Distracted by His Raw Sexual Energy
- Op-Ed: I Tried Returning to Campus for My Stuff, and Now I’m Imprisoned in the Prison from the Stanford Prison Experiment
- I Accidentally Set My Zoom Background to a Looped Gif of the Challenger Explosion and I Have My “Respecting the Victims of the Challenger Explosion” Class in 2 Minutes
Technology
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Class Ends after Student DM’s Zoom professor ‘effective. Powerلُلُصّبُلُلصّبُرر ॣ ॣh ॣ ॣ 冗’
According to multiple reports from amazed students and distraught TAs, a single Stanford student...
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Movie Magic: CGI Carrie Fisher to be Posthumously Inserted into “Epic / Hilarious Nut-Taps [4 hrs]” Youtube Compilation
In recent weeks, there has been some rumbling surrounding J.J. Abrams’ decision to feature a computer-generated...
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Andrew Yang Warns That AI Will Soon Automate All Your Time-Wasting Bullshit
During a recent campaign stop, presidential hopeful Andrew Yang returned to what has become a central...
- Op-Ed: In Only Ten Weeks, Duolingo Made Me Proficient In Slurs
- Wow! Turns Out Clippy was Involved with Operation Paperclip, the U.S. Program that Reincorporated Nazi Scientists Into American Society
- TED Talk Speaker Struggles to Open PowerPoint from Flash Drive
Recent Posts
2 weeks ago
SCR confused by instructions to “Stand Back and Stand By”
2 weeks ago
Underwater gender reveal incurs Poseidon’s wrath, sinks Taiwan
2 weeks ago
The First Presidential Debate Was Too Hot for Television
2 weeks ago
Op-Ed: Yikes! I Accidentally Joined My Professor’s Divorce Zoom Call and Now I Have to Act Like His Emotionally Traumatized, Estranged Daughter So He Doesn’t Lose His House
2 weeks ago
NFL Players Nonchalant About Daily Risk of Crippling Head Trauma Weirdly Terrified By COVID