Punxsutawney Phil Sees Shadow, Doesn’t Realize He’s in Plato’s Cave Allegory

This weekend, nationally-renowned groundhog Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow and predicted six…

JUUL Releases Milk-Flavored Vapes for Infants

After banning flavors like mango, crème, and cucumber, due to deep investigations…

Rubber Ducky on Jeep Dashboard Wonders If There’s More to Life Than This

Lorem Ipsum Finally Translated, And It Is Shockingly Problematic

“Lorem Ipsum” the classic filler text on digital writing templates has finally…

Man Struggles with Diagnosis of Narcoleptic Sperm

Lorraine and John, a local couple trying to get pregnant, have recently…

Executive Order: Pardons Only Valid for Turkeys Who Participated in January 6th

Trump signed a new executive order invalidating the ceremonial pardons of all…