Post Tagged with: "facebook"

Op-Ed: I’m a Social Media Influenzer – And It’s Fucking Sick

October 26, 2018 1:16 pmComments Off on Op-Ed: I’m a Social Media Influenzer – And It’s Fucking Sick
Op-Ed: I’m a Social Media Influenzer – And It’s Fucking Sick

You read that right – social media influenzer. My job is to spread ~sickness~ wherever I go. What exactly does my job entail? Well, I work for NightQuil Industries, a company that sells cold and flu medicine. They were really struggling with their social media presence, so they decided to […]

Read more ›

Facebook Friend From High School Tries To Uncover Truth About Crooked Hillary Before Media Silences Him

November 1, 2016 12:00 pmComments Off on Facebook Friend From High School Tries To Uncover Truth About Crooked Hillary Before Media Silences Him
Facebook Friend From High School Tries To Uncover Truth About Crooked Hillary Before Media Silences Him

YOUR FACEBOOK TIMELINE — After the last debate between presidential hopefuls Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, your Facebook friend from high school, Tom Bartlett, was driven to find out the truth about “Crooked Hillary.”  Of course, your old acquaintance who used to butt-chug at parties couldn’t just count on the […]

Read more ›

Hennessy Longingly Refreshes Stanford Crushes Page One Last Time

May 24, 2016 12:00 pmComments Off on Hennessy Longingly Refreshes Stanford Crushes Page One Last Time
Hennessy Longingly Refreshes Stanford Crushes Page One Last Time

Sitting in his soon-to-be-vacated office with Stanford Crushes open on his laptop, Stanford president John Hennessy paused, sighed, crossed his fingers, and hit “refresh” one final time. “I know they noticed me, I know it!” Hennessy whispered to himself, sure that someone must have taken note of his carefully calculated […]

Read more ›

Facebook adds ‘like like’ option

February 24, 2016 12:38 pmComments Off on Facebook adds ‘like like’ option
Facebook adds ‘like like’ option

In a recent press release, Facebook has announced that there will now be more options than just “like” to react to your friend’s posts on the popular social networking site.  “We all know what it means when you like someone’s picture, but do you like like it?  Like, for real?” said Mark Zuckerburg […]

Read more ›

After Horrifying Events, Local Man Not Even Sure Who is Being “That Guy” Anymore

November 18, 2015 9:00 amComments Off on After Horrifying Events, Local Man Not Even Sure Who is Being “That Guy” Anymore
After Horrifying Events, Local Man Not Even Sure Who is Being “That Guy” Anymore

“Usually it’s so easy to tell,” said 717 Resident Adam Mickleson. “Whenever something bad happens, there’s always the people who post on Facebook and try to make it about them.” Mickelson gazed into his teacup, at a loss for words. “But now I’m not even sure.” “I guess the French […]

Read more ›

New Charity Distributes Facebook Likes to Starving Children Around the World

November 2, 2015 12:00 pmComments Off on New Charity Distributes Facebook Likes to Starving Children Around the World
New Charity Distributes Facebook Likes to Starving Children Around the World

In recent months, a new online charitable organization has exploded in popularity.  Their mission: to distribute as many Facebook likes as possible to desperate and starving children all over the world. The Silicon Valley-based non-profit, Likes4Hunger, has already motivated thousands of young people across the country to break free of […]

Read more ›

Flipside Remembers: The 2004 Midterm Election

November 3, 2014 12:01 pmComments Off on Flipside Remembers: The 2004 Midterm Election
Flipside Remembers: The 2004 Midterm Election

As uneducated voters all over the country turn out tomorrow to cast their ballots in the midterm elections, the Flipside would like to celebrate the Tenth Anniversary of the most important election of them all: the 2004 Midterm Election.  Now, ten years in the future, we can finally view with objective eyes the sweeping impact of this momentous civic event. […]

Read more ›

Frosh Facebook Group Celeb Finally Emerges from Pile of Naked Women

October 15, 2014 9:00 amComments Off on Frosh Facebook Group Celeb Finally Emerges from Pile of Naked Women
Frosh Facebook Group Celeb Finally Emerges from Pile of Naked Women

Four full weeks into the Fall Quarter, Amartya Stathis, who earned grade-wide celebrity through the pithy quips and unsolicited major selection advice he offered the class of 2018 in its Facebook group, has finally emerged, glistening, from a steamy heap of nude babes. “It’s, like, so exciting to meet you […]

Read more ›

Summer Intern Gains Valuable Real-World Experience Frantically Closing Facebook Tab on Web Browser

September 23, 2013 12:00 pmComments Off on Summer Intern Gains Valuable Real-World Experience Frantically Closing Facebook Tab on Web Browser
Summer Intern Gains Valuable Real-World Experience Frantically Closing Facebook Tab on Web Browser

Although numerous Stanford students left The Farm this summer for internships at respected firms, the most coveted of these employment experiences belonged to those interns who gained real hands-on experience in abruptly minimizing Facebook pages when their managers or supervisors strode past. “It was great to have the opportunity to […]

Read more ›

Facebook Extends Legal Dominion Over Its Users

December 5, 2012 9:00 amComments Off on Facebook Extends Legal Dominion Over Its Users
Facebook Extends Legal Dominion Over Its Users

If you’re like me and you live on Earth, you’ve noticed the latest craze to seize the Facebooking masses. You may have even done it yourself– copy-pasted a long quasi-legal warning to Zuckerberg and the Facebookettes, Inc, asserting your god given right to do whatever you want with your 3000+ […]

Read more ›