YOUR FACEBOOK TIMELINE — After the last debate between presidential hopefuls Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, your Facebook friend from high school, Tom Bartlett, was driven to find out the truth about “Crooked Hillary.” Of course, your old acquaintance who used to butt-chug at parties couldn’t just count on the unethical, dishonest mainstream media.
Employing his own relentless investigative skills and Yahoo! as a search engine, Tom finally exposed the truth about that “nasty woman” in an article he encountered on none other than libertyeagle-news.wordpress.com. An oasis of honesty and journalistic integrity, this blog/website is dedicated to “exposing the corrupt administration of Barack HUSSEIN Obama and the Crooked Hillary Clinton,” and your Facebook friend Tom has been integral in getting their message—a.k.a. the truth—out.
The Clintons and the fraudulent mainstream media will try to silence him soon, but Tom has uncovered the real story: the backdoor deals, the selling of human organs, the goblins, and much more. We DMed Tom from your account to find out about the significance of such a damning exposé: “Once the FBI gets wind of this, they’ll wipe out both me and the story probably, but the people [specifically my 612 Facebook friends] need to know that Crooked Hillary eats horse and is actually the vengeful 1,000-year-old spirit of an evil witch,” he wrote.
You only knew Tom as the kid always in charge of the fire at bonfires, but no one never suspected that he would one day be the next Edward Snowden. “Tom Bartlett” will soon become a household name, and his profile picture of a slightly pixelated bald eagle pooping on Nancy Pelosi will become the symbol of a movement.