Articles by: Jeyla Aranjo

The First Presidential Debate Was Too Hot for Television

October 16, 2020 12:59 pmComments Off on The First Presidential Debate Was Too Hot for Television
The First Presidential Debate Was Too Hot for Television

Tuesday night’s debate was rife with more sexual tension than Ghislaine Maxwell in a room filled with underage girls. Even I was starting to get hot and bothered by the incessant, back-and-forth flirting. After all, you know what they say–when a boy is mean to you, it just means he […]

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Op-Ed: I’m a Social Media Influenzer – And It’s Fucking Sick

October 26, 2018 1:16 pmComments Off on Op-Ed: I’m a Social Media Influenzer – And It’s Fucking Sick
Op-Ed: I’m a Social Media Influenzer – And It’s Fucking Sick

You read that right – social media influenzer. My job is to spread ~sickness~ wherever I go. What exactly does my job entail? Well, I work for NightQuil Industries, a company that sells cold and flu medicine. They were really struggling with their social media presence, so they decided to […]

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Trader Joe’s Opens Joe’s O’s, New Sister Store Sex Shop

May 3, 2018 10:10 amComments Off on Trader Joe’s Opens Joe’s O’s, New Sister Store Sex Shop
Trader Joe’s Opens Joe’s O’s, New Sister Store Sex Shop

Tim Smith, CEO of Trader Joe’s, just announced this week that the multi-million dollar conglomerate is branching out and opening a new line of sex shops. The first will be opened in San Francisco, kink capital of the world, and called Joe’s O’s (short for Joe’s Orgasm’s–haha that’s straight up […]

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BOSP Announces New SIW (Stanford In Wisconsin) Program

March 12, 2018 11:59 amComments Off on BOSP Announces New SIW (Stanford In Wisconsin) Program
BOSP Announces New SIW (Stanford In Wisconsin) Program

“Like, all of my friends are applying to the program in the fall, so I really want to go with them,” says Terry Jenner of Rho Alpha Delta sorority. “I’m just like, really passionate about cheese.”   The new addition to Stanford’s Bing Overseas Study Program (BOSP) includes tours of […]

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