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Year 15

66 posts

My Body Count’s in the Hundreds’ Brags Lockheed Martin Intern

After helping design Hellfire missiles for Lockheed Martin during his summer internship,…

Well that’s ruff: My run in with the Helen Keller of dogs

I was 11 years old the last time I rode a bike.…

The Sturgeon Mary: a Tale

Jesus, take the eel! After news breaking of an apparently immaculately-conceived marine…

Opinion: Joe Biden Needs To Whip Out His Dick On Stage If He Wants To Win In 2024

Let’s face it. We live in a patriarchal society. Forty-six presidents and…

Progressive, I Guess? Turtles Can Vote Now, But They Blindly Support Racist Candidates

In a bold leap towards inclusivity, Congress has passed the ‘Testudine Suffrage…

Halloween Midterms Just Finished, Now It’s Time to Enter Final Form

Halloweekend, close second for the title of “drunkest five days on campus”…

Sam Bankman-Fried calls $8,000,000,000 fraud “just a prank, bro”

NEW YORK—After being found guilty by a 12-member jury on seven counts…

Democracy Day Gone Woke: Organizers Cancelled Over Lack of Representation for Students from Authoritarian Regimes

Alex Smith (’24), a North Korean exchange student, has never felt more villainized…

This Horny Little Guy’s Favorite Part of Thanksgiving is Stuffing the Turkey

Thanksgiving is finally coming up, a holiday meant to celebrate gratitude and…

Op-Ed: Please Stop Saying “Fuck Cal”, My Ass Hurts

Berkley Student Calvin Juan, or better known as Cal, claims to be…