As Peace in the Middle East Draws Near, so do the United States’ Nuclear Submarines

With peace in the Middle East seemingly coming closer by the day,…

Underwhelmed by your bomb threat typeface

It’s common knowledge that all proper criminals have fantastic marketing. For the…

Stanford Announces Plans to Replace All Professors with ChatGPT Artificial Intelligence, Tuition to Increase by 300%

PALO ALTO, CA – In a move that has stunned the academic…

Undercover Report: Sororities Do Have Naked Pillow Fights, Just Whenever You’re Not There

Class of 2027 Student Spotlight: They’re All Pieces of Shit

Ah yes. Admit weekend.  Swarms of lanky to-be freshmen wander the vast campus, not…

Op-Ed: Admit Weekend is Almost Here!  It’s Time to Download Tinder

This Friday, thousands of prospective frosh will be flocking to the Stanford…

No Bike Wednesday Replaced by Grapevining Wednesday

Woosh! What is that? Is it a bird? A plane? An oddball…