“Usually it’s so easy to tell,” said 717 Resident Adam Mickleson. “Whenever something bad happens, there’s always the people who post on Facebook and try to make it about them.” Mickelson gazed into his teacup, at a loss for words. “But now I’m not even sure.”

“I guess the French flag thing is kind of tacky. Like, that’s still a photo of you, super-drunk, dancing with a baguette. Not exactly somber. Are you being “that guy”? But then there’s that guy who’s criticizing everyone for not expressing support when there were attacks in Beirut. It’s a good point, but I don’t remember him writing any Lebanese-solidarity posts either. It’s just very confusing. I would call him out for being ‘that guy’, but I feel like then I’d become ‘that guy’. You know?”

When pressed for comment on the large amounts of people copy-pasting solidarity with Mizzou, Mickelson confessed: “honestly, I haven’t been keeping up with the issue at all. I see people posting, but I had a lot of  homework that week and it sort of just kept getting pushed back every time I told myself that I would look up what was going on.” Mickelson also added that he’s always felt lost addressing the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, and that both sides seem to make a lot of convincing points.

Meanwhile, world leaders have expressed solidarity with the French people, promising to respond to this terrifying episode of violence with even more violence, but somewhere else.

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