By Stanley Waters

WASHINGTON D.C.—In an unexpected act of brilliance, comedian Al Franken relaunched his comedy career last week as he began his first week in the US Senate. After winning the closest election in US history, Franken announced his “master plan” to the people of America. “As promised, the government is finally going to change!” declared Franken. “I knew two things when I declared my candidacy for the Senate. First, that because of declining book sales, my comedy career was doomed to failure, and second, all debates, discussions, and hearings in the Senate are broadcast to millions of Americans via C-SPAN. These two facts led to one obvious course of action, and now that I’ve been elected, I am proud to announce the rebirth of my comedy career!” Franken continued to explain that, as a Senator, he would use every opportunity to ridicule, embarrass, and humiliate his fellow Congressmen.

Franken’s commentary was not limited to the field of politics; he also lambasted airport security and women’s shoe stores. Immediately after Franken began his committee hearing, the number of people watching C-SPAN increased dramatically. By the end of the week, Franken was one of the most popular comedians in the country, as the number of Americans who had watched C-SPAN increased from 10 to 4.6 million. Even more surprising, Franken’s forthcoming book, “Rush Limbaugh is Still A Big Fat Idiot and Now I’m A Senator” has earned millions of dollars in pre-orders.

Despite Franken’s success, he has announced that he has no intention of limiting his comedic efforts to C-SPAN. According to Margaret Neal, Franken’s spokesperson, “Franken is not going to end his comedic expansion any time soon. He has only just begun his term in the Senate, and over the next 6 years, he hopes to make himself known not only on C-SPAN but also on the more exclusive networks: C-SPAN 2, C-SPAN 3, C-SPAN Radio, and C-SPAN online. By the end of his term, C-SPAN will be known as the comedy network for Americans of all ages.”

Al Franken can be found on C-SPAN every business day starting from 10/9c.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Sign Up for Our Newsletter

Get the Stanford Flipside sent to your inbox!

You May Also Like

Study Confirms That Bitches, As Suspected, Ain’t Shit But Hoes and Tricks

When Dr. Dre proposed in his seminal theoretical work, “The Chronic”, the…

Study Finds: If Your Hand is Bigger than Your Face You Need Surgery

In a packed auditorium on Saturday, Stanford Hospital Director Ken Toshi informed…

Connections to Steroid Ring Finally Explain Peyton Manning’s Giant Forehead

Following last week’s announcement of an upcoming Al-Jazeera documentary that alleges that…