NFL Rejects NRA’s “The Only Thing That Can Stop a Bad Guy With a Football is a Good Guy With a Football” Proposal to Use Two Footballs in Super Bowl

Student Lofts Desk to Save Space

Give Your Senior Gift to The Stanford Flipside

So here we are. In just a few weeks’ time, you’ll have…

Obama Can’t Stop Taking Stances on Things

They say all addictions start with a first step. For some, that…

Opinion: Why Haven’t Zimbroff/Wagstaff Done Anything Yet?

I like to think I’m a patient guy. I can watch the…

Board of Trustees To Buy $4.2 Million of “Contemplation Toilets”

After an extensive study regarding the contemplation resources available on campus, the…

ASSU Election Proceeds Smoothly, Without Drama

Stanford sources are pleased to report that last week’s election proceeded unusually…

Supreme Court Responds to Obama “Smack Talk,” Demands Arm Wrestle

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In response to a series of defiant and controversial statements made…

OAPE Selects 24 Random Freshman to Participate in the Drinking Games

In a yearly celebration designed to remember the horrors of excess alcohol…

Lottery Win Brings Fame, Fortune, Success to Area Man Willard “Mitt” Romney

Red Bud, IL—Last Friday, three lucky winners earned a share of the…