NFL Rejects NRA’s “The Only Thing That Can Stop a Bad Guy With a Football is a Good Guy With a Football” Proposal to Use Two Footballs in Super Bowl

Obama Can’t Stop Taking Stances on Things

They say all addictions start with a first step. For some, that…

Board of Trustees To Buy $4.2 Million of “Contemplation Toilets”

After an extensive study regarding the contemplation resources available on campus, the…

Supreme Court Responds to Obama “Smack Talk,” Demands Arm Wrestle

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In response to a series of defiant and controversial statements made…

Lottery Win Brings Fame, Fortune, Success to Area Man Willard “Mitt” Romney

Red Bud, IL—Last Friday, three lucky winners earned a share of the…

Sustainability Group Calls it Quits After Depleting Resources

Since 1892, The Sierra Club has operated as a staunch advocate for…