Sick of Domestic Singles, Many Turn To International Date Line

By Jerry Vickname

LIFUKA, TONGA—The dating world has been turned upside down as many people around the world are looking abroad to find true love. Dating, which once was considered strictly a local practice, has now been taken global.

Thanks to the International Date Line and the internet, it is now easy to connect up with others who are looking for foreign dates. “It used to be the case that you needed to date someone that you knew from personal experience,” said one longtime dating freelancer Sam Sebastian. “But now you can just call the International Date Line. It really is that easy.”

The International Date Line headquarters are located at 180 degrees longitude in Lifuka, Tonga. Here, hundreds of employees work around the clock to match up failed romantics from across the globe.

“Just yesterday I matched up a computer programmer from Guinea with a psychologist from Burma,” said an International Date Line employee. “We really are bringing people together.”

There have been several logistical concerns about the time difference, but those have been largely brushed over in favor of progress.

You can call the international dateline at +676-80-DATE-LINE, and they are open 24 hours a day for support.