ASKS SANTA FOR $20 TRILLION, ENERGY SOLUTION, AND THE WII

WASHINGTON, D.C–In his last major act as President of the United States, George W. Bush has officially completed and signed into law the United States Christmas List. Since time was running out for the Bush Administration, he decided to act swiftly and quickly and take the necessary action to set out some items the country will want in the future.

Among other things, Bush requested that Santa get the United States $20 trillion, a new and improved auto industry, a solution to dependence on foreign oil, and the Wii. The new Macbook pro also got included in the list at the last second because it had lots of support from oil lobbyists.

“America, It’s time to feel the Christmas spirit,” said Bush in a recent press conference. “And what better way to do that then to get a new car or maybe a wooden picture frame.”

Critics of the President were quick to point out that Santa probably won’t grant the US all of its Christmas wishes, especially considering it has been very naughty this past year.

“If we look at how the country has been acting recently–take into account the greed and the lying and the lack of responsibility–I just don’t see any way Santa can look past that,” said Peter Allen, political analyst for the Times.

Bush had been highly considering adding a BB gun and “change” to the list, but the US already got that when Obama was elected president.

You May Also Like

Area Man Declares Bottle of Jack His Best Friend

Area Man Jonathan Davies recently declared that a fifth of Jack Daniels…

Breaking: A Capella Clubs Decide to be Really Fucking Mean in Their Rejection Letters 

Shockwaves ripped through the Frosh dork community after receiving a barrage of…

Enact the Conga Line Policy or Consider us No Longer Friends

Yeah, man, it’s Sunday night, and I just want some samosas. I’m…