Post Tagged with: "christmas"

Report: Area Man Whose Birthday is on Christmas Thinks He’s Jesus

December 10, 2018 7:00 pmComments Off on Report: Area Man Whose Birthday is on Christmas Thinks He’s Jesus
Report: Area Man Whose Birthday is on Christmas Thinks He’s Jesus

PALO ALTO, CA – In the last forty-eight hours, Albert Shurenberg, a longtime Palo Alto resident and certified Vehicle Clinician at Crazy Al’s Chrysler Confederation, has been “going off” on social media about how he is, in fact the second coming of Jesus Christ. His proof? Mr. Shurberg was born […]

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The Stanford Bible

December 27, 2013 11:59 amComments Off on The Stanford Bible
The Stanford Bible

In a true Christmas miracle, the Stanford Gospel has been delivered unto us, by the Stanford Flipside: In the beginning John Arrillaga created the institution and the campus. Now The Farm was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the fountains, and the Spirit of Jane Stanford was hovering over the waters. And Hennessy said, “Let there […]

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Ask a Jew During the Holidays

November 26, 2012 12:00 pmComments Off on Ask a Jew During the Holidays
Ask a Jew During the Holidays

Dear Jew during the holidays, Should I get a Christmas present for my roommate? I want to show her that I appreciate what a good roommate she’s been, but I don’t want her to feel obligated to get me anything. Sincerely, Gift-Giver in GovCo Dear Gift-Giver, Have you ever considered […]

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God Awkwardly Forgets Son’s Birthday Again

January 8, 2012 3:39 pmComments Off on God Awkwardly Forgets Son’s Birthday Again
God Awkwardly Forgets Son’s Birthday Again

According to scriptural and journalistic sources, God forgot the December 25th birthday of his first and only son, Jesus Christ of Nazareth, for the third time in the last 2,000 years. “I got really tied up with a bunch of Christmas stuff this year,” God relayed to Flipside reporters through […]

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NYC Celebrates the Whitest Kwanzaa in Decades

January 5, 2011 1:35 amComments Off on NYC Celebrates the Whitest Kwanzaa in Decades
NYC Celebrates the Whitest Kwanzaa in Decades
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In Final Presidential Act, Bush Completes US Christmas List

December 7, 2008 8:05 pm0 comments
In Final Presidential Act, Bush Completes US Christmas List

ASKS SANTA FOR $20 TRILLION, ENERGY SOLUTION, AND THE WII WASHINGTON, D.C–In his last major act as President of the United States, George W. Bush has officially completed and signed into law the United States Christmas List. Since time was running out for the Bush Administration, he decided to act […]

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Congress Expected to Replace the “Privileges and Immunities” Clause with the “Santa” Clause

8:02 pm0 comments
Congress Expected to Replace the “Privileges and Immunities” Clause with the “Santa” Clause

By Stanley Waters This year, the citizens of the United States will receive a special Christmas gift from the government. In light of recent economic difficulties and a general feeling of gloom across the country, Congress is expected to revise the Constitution for the first time in several decades. The […]

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Reindeer Transportation Hopes to Offer Relief From Dependence on Foreign Oil

7:49 pm0 comments
Reindeer Transportation Hopes to Offer Relief From Dependence on Foreign Oil

Thanksgiving has come and gone, and, in the true American spirit, each and every potential customer is now completely inundated with holiday advertisements. And, what would the materialist’s month be without the quintessential TV commercials released by auto companies, showing off speed around sharp turns and sleek designs wrapped in […]

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