Post Tagged with: "us"

Democrats Deemed Just as Doomed and Hopeless as 2015 GOP

January 10, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on Democrats Deemed Just as Doomed and Hopeless as 2015 GOP
Democrats Deemed Just as Doomed and Hopeless as 2015 GOP

Noting their loss of the White House, their crumbling state-level infrastructure, and their failure to take back several Senate seats previously deemed easy pickups, political analysts of all partisan stripes noted in recent weeks that the Democrats are essentially just as “irreparably, totally doomed” as the Republicans were in 2008, […]

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US Military Unveils Dog Capable of Smelling Hatred of America

May 24, 2011 9:00 amComments Off on US Military Unveils Dog Capable of Smelling Hatred of America
US Military Unveils Dog Capable of Smelling Hatred of America

A US military official recently announced the arrival of a groundbreaking new line of tracker dogs reportedly capable of smelling people’s hatred of America. “We needed an alternative to racial profiling,” said US military researcher Jonathan Greeley. “Everyone knows that judging a person by the color of their skin is […]

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United States Apologizes For Dropping Tsunami On Japan

April 4, 2011 8:22 pmComments Off on United States Apologizes For Dropping Tsunami On Japan
United States Apologizes For Dropping Tsunami On Japan

After much international pressure, The United States apologized for their use of Tsunamis on Japan, causing many issues with radiation. The United States thought it was an appropriate retaliatory measure for Pearl Harbor, but has since apologized for dropping the Tsunami. Humanitarianists around the world are clamoring for a disarmament […]

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Obama Administration Looks to Plumber to Solve Nation’s Problems

August 5, 2010 11:26 pmComments Off on Obama Administration Looks to Plumber to Solve Nation’s Problems
Obama Administration Looks to Plumber to Solve Nation’s Problems

WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Obama shocked the nation last week when he announced that he would begin seeking advice from a man he calls “Plumber Paul.” Though not much is known about the plumber, Paul took the stage during a press conference to describe his agenda. “Obama has told me about some […]

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Report: China Lags Behind US in English Skills

11:07 pmComments Off on Report: China Lags Behind US in English Skills
Report: China Lags Behind US in English Skills

BEIJING, CHINA—Despite desperate measures taken by the United States to improve proficiency in reading and writing, a recent Pew study has revealed that much of China is failing to keep up with US standards in English. “These kids are performing at almost two to five years behind their expected grade […]

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US Doesn’t Pull Out of Iraq; Iraq Now Pregnant

October 24, 2009 7:02 pm0 comments
US Doesn’t Pull Out of Iraq; Iraq Now Pregnant

Pregnancy tests on Iraq returned positive today, confirming suspicions held by many Americans and political pundits that the United States did not pull out in time. Despite Obama’s campaign promises to pull out of Iraq, the President never acted. It seems that his victory in the election last Fall excited […]

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In Final Presidential Act, Bush Completes US Christmas List

December 7, 2008 8:05 pm0 comments
In Final Presidential Act, Bush Completes US Christmas List

ASKS SANTA FOR $20 TRILLION, ENERGY SOLUTION, AND THE WII WASHINGTON, D.C–In his last major act as President of the United States, George W. Bush has officially completed and signed into law the United States Christmas List. Since time was running out for the Bush Administration, he decided to act […]

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