As election day nears, the battle for Idaho has intensified to unprecedented levels, with candidates from both parties criscrossing the state in hopes of locking down its four critical electoral votes.
“No Republican candidate has ever won the presidency without winning Idaho,” said political blogger Nate Silver. “It’s going to be critical for the Romney campaign to shore up support in Idaho, and equally critical for the Obama campaign to try and contest the election there.”
Romney has launched a concerted approach to woo voters, going as far as to mimick the call of the local Mountain Bluebird in the woods to seem relatable. Obama, not to be outdone, also made the long journey to Boise, and legally changed his name to Jack Links Beef Jerky (tm), earning him a three percent spike in Boise polls. He was seen speaking from the stump of a fallen tree to an illiterate family of 5, saying things such as “America needs its potatoes, and I don’t plan on allowing governor Romney to outsource our potato industry to foreign workers, mashing away our hopes.”
“It’s going to be a slugfest in Idaho,” Silver added. “It’s historically been a bellwether state. There’s a saying in political circles: ‘As Idaho goes, so goes the nation’, and it’s just as true this time around as it’s always been.”
Statisticians and polling companies have run thousands of simulations, nearly all of which predict that Idaho will factor prominently in the final results of the election.
The President, when asked for comment, asserted that Idaho is “crucial,” and that “you can’t draw a map without Idaho, because otherwise there’d be a big lake there.”
Romney was quick to sing Idaho’s praises as well, stating “potatoes and skiing are cornerstones of the American dream.”
With the presidency at stake, the candidates are sure to continue their efforts.