Sophomore Quits Turkey after Bad Thanksgiving Experience

In a surprising announcement released moments after waking up, still in his…

Violent Students Attack Police Pepper Spray Cans With Their Eyes

Within the last week, a video showing rioting students at UC Davis…

Rick Perry Can’t Name Three Things He’s Thankful For

Presidential hopeful Rick Perry sat down to dinner on Thursday for his…

“Spider Scare” Brings US House to a Standstill

WASHINGTON, DC–Last week, amidst heated debate over Obama’s Jobs bill, the United…

Stanford University Secedes From The Union

STANFORD, CA- After meeting with the heads of every academic department, the…

Rick Santorum Releases Hip Hop Record as Last Ditch Attempt to Remain in Public Eye

Sources from the campaign office of Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum report…

NBA Cancels Games to Allow Fans to Focus on the NFL

NEW YORK CITY—After several hours of intense deliberation, David Stern, commissioner of…

Public Schools Get Day Off Of School To Honor Mass Murderer

TOLEDO, OH—Gardner Elementary School students had no school this past Monday to…

Planned Terrorist Attack Against Saudi Ambassador Thwarted By AlertSU Text

The United States Department of Homeland Security confirmed today that the vast…

A Question to Republican candidates

A NASA satellite is threatening to crash into the Earth. How would…