Presidential hopeful Rick Perry sat down to dinner on Thursday for his favorite all-American holiday: Thanksgiving. Eager to convince his family that he deserves to be at the head of the table, he asserted that he had three things to be thankful for this year: “Health, the Second Amendment, and…”

Silence fell on the table. Ron Paul, who everyone forgot had been invited to the celebration, tried to help out, offering “the EPA?” Perry’s children, resentful of the fact that the three of them were not mentioned, suggested that maybe he really meant five things. But Perry shook them off, as obviously they were trying to trip him up. “The third thing I’m thankful for…let’s see…I can’t,” he conceded. Completely stumped, he just accepted his oops moment.

It wasn’t until after Paul claimed gratefulness toward liberty that Perry jumped up, shouting, “There it is, that’s it! Right? Damn it!” and poured himself another glass of wine.

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