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Disastrous Iowa Caucuses Were Using Stanford Web Authentication Services, Investigation Reveals

Technological and infrastructural complications with the Iowa caucuses earlier this week have…

Awkward! I Was Sitting on the Toilet When This Old Man Leaned His Head Under the Stall and Offered to Tell Me the Fate of Mankind If I Answered His Riddles Three

You can never get any peace and quiet these days, can you?…

John Bolton Catfished Into Congressional Testimony by Adam Schiff Pretending to be Busty Young Ukrainian

As a result of growing uncertainty surrounding whether current Challenger rank I…

Flipside Proudly Endorses Elizabeth Warren, Amy Klobuchar, Hillary Clinton, Julia Child, Katy Perry, the “Tiger Mom,” and 282 Other Women for President

Following the New York Times editorial board’s recent dual endorsement of candidates…

Facing Impeachment, Trump Recruits the One Man He Hoped He’d Never Have to Ask for Help: Duke Vengeance, PI

As the stresses of his impeachment process slowly build, sources within the…

Op-Ed: Apparently I’m a Russian Sleeper Agent Because Reading “Fried Chick’n” at Stern Dining Made Me Black Out and Torture the Guy Behind Me

As a resident of Stern Hall, I treat myself to the luxurious…

Man Who Kidnapped Transients and Locked Them in Sadistic Puzzle-Room Frustrated That They’ve Yet to Come Together as a Team

Furrowing his brow and putting his head in his hands with an…

New Horoscope App Tells You Whether Crush Likes You, As Well As Exact Date And Time Of Your Death

Riding the wave of recent horoscope hysteria, California-based app developer Code Zone…

Dear SCR: If I Use Dark Magicks to Infuse an Unholy Flesh-Golem with a Soul, But Abort the Ritual Prematurely, Is That Murder?

Prithee listen, thou kindly Stanford College Republicans, and heed my request for…