Op-Ed: I Had the NASA Internship Where They Make Me the Astronaut, But Then It Got Canceled Because of Coronavirus

Okay, I’m pissed. One month ago, I had this summer all figured…

RA Who Got Sent Home Still Leaving Bowl of Condoms Outside Room for Parents to Use

When the majority of undergraduate students were told to leave campus, ResEd…

New Horoscope App Tells You Whether Crush Likes You, As Well As Exact Date And Time Of Your Death

Riding the wave of recent horoscope hysteria, California-based app developer Code Zone…

Breaking: Stanford Athletics Emails Deemed “Too Hype,” Account Gets Banned From Outlook Servers

In a shocking turn of events, Stanford Athletics received an official notarized…

Lame Rushee Refuses to Eat Bath Bomb, Doesn’t Get a Bid

Spring has sprung, and that means two things: Greek rush, and the…

Report: ‘Stanford Duck Syndrome’ Rebranded to ‘Stanford Frog Syndrome’ as Students Start Eating Live Frogs

As the weather turns wet and the cracks in the road slowly…

Dear 106A Section Leader: Karel Took My Virginity and I Think I’m Falling for Her

Dear Scott, I know you’ve only been my section leader for a…

Trump Calls Off Government Shutdown After Visit by Ghosts of Three Honduran Migrants

WASHINGTON – Earlier this morning, President Trump shocked both Democrats and Republicans…

Report: Area Man Whose Birthday is on Christmas Thinks He’s Jesus

PALO ALTO, CA – In the last forty-eight hours, Albert Shurenberg, a…

Report: Ghost Hitler to Be the Next Guest Invited to Campus in SCR’s Ongoing “Controversial Speakers” Series

Late last night, before the libtards could wake up and man their…