Protests have recently erupted all across the United States as the structural forces upholding racism in American society were laid bare once again by the murders of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd. This has prompted some white Americans to critically re-examine their relationship to racial privilege, but many […]

Okay, I’m pissed. One month ago, I had this summer all figured out: women, white claw, and the most prestigious NASA internship that they have, where they make me the big astronaut who goes up into space with the fast rocket ships. But thanks to this “corono virus,” there will […]

When the majority of undergraduate students were told to leave campus, ResEd vowed to pay student staff as they continue to perform their duties remotely. While all staff members are continuing to support their Stanford residents virtually, some are also taking their duties a step further. Donner RA Jasmine Douglas, […]

Riding the wave of recent horoscope hysteria, California-based app developer Code Zone released an app this morning called Astro-Logic that not only knows whether or not your crush is into you, but can also predict the exact date and time of your inevitable demise. “Look, we’re just giving the people […]

In a shocking turn of events, Stanford Athletics received an official notarized letter late last night from the Microsoft Corporation informing them that their Outlook account would be shut down effective immediately due to the “dangerous and unprecedented level of hype” associated with their email blasts. The notarized letter from […]

Spring has sprung, and that means two things: Greek rush, and the hedonistic ingestion of bathroom and/or laundry-room products. First there was the toilet plunger, then of course the Tide Pods, and now the youth are “getting sudsy” and “blasting off” on the hitherto last uneaten artifact in the twenty-first […]

As the weather turns wet and the cracks in the road slowly begin to fill with puddles of water, mud and air-born amphibian spawn, a scourge of frogs has descended onto the campus of Leland Stanford Junior University. As students adjust to this new environment now teeming with toads, many […]

Dear Scott, I know you’ve only been my section leader for a couple of weeks, but you’re the only one I feel comfortable talking to about this. Something happened last night, in the wet darkness of my dorm room while my roommate slept, blissfully unaware. I was writing code in […]

WASHINGTON – Earlier this morning, President Trump shocked both Democrats and Republicans alike when he announced from the White House Rose Garden that he’s giving up on the government shutdown, and his “kooky scheme” of building a border wall thanks to a late-night visitation by the spectral reincarnations of three […]

PALO ALTO, CA – In the last forty-eight hours, Albert Shurenberg, a longtime Palo Alto resident and certified Vehicle Clinician at Crazy Al’s Chrysler Confederation, has been “going off” on social media about how he is, in fact the second coming of Jesus Christ. His proof? Mr. Shurberg was born […]