Dr. Fauci Feels Much More Comfortable Walking Around Public Now That He Is Not Being Traced By the Red Dot of a Nearby Army Sniper

In many ways the nation took a big sigh of relief after…

I Failed My Midterm, So I Invited All My Friends Over for a Party, Dressed Up as a Piñata, and Made Them Beat Me

Well folks, it’s about that time of year: when the neighbors put…

NFL Players Nonchalant About Daily Risk of Crippling Head Trauma Weirdly Terrified By COVID

As American sports begins the slow process to reopening and getting back…

Op-Ed: To Ensure My Vote Counts I Nailed A Copy of My Ballot to Every Door in My State Capitol

You heard me right. With all the damn kerfuffle around ballots and…

Op-Ed: I Tried Returning to Campus for My Stuff, and Now I’m Imprisoned in the Prison from the Stanford Prison Experiment

As soon as I entered campus, I felt eyes begin to follow…

Op-Ed: My Super Exclusive Internship with NASA Was Just Cancelled So I Guess I’m Stuck Slumming It in My Huge London Flat

So there I was, just sitting in my trophy room in my…

Op-Ed: After Seeing Each Democratic Candidate Eat a Cinnamon Roll at Last Week’s Debate, I Know that Pete’s the One

Maybe you were surprised last week when the host of last week’s…

Amazing – Schoolyard Kid Single-Handedly Eliminates Bullying by Choosing Smallest, Wimpiest Kid for His Recess Dodgeball Team

The sun was out, the birds were chirping, and the 8.5-inch rubber…

Awkward! I Was Sitting on the Toilet When This Old Man Leaned His Head Under the Stall and Offered to Tell Me the Fate of Mankind If I Answered His Riddles Three

You can never get any peace and quiet these days, can you?…