Post Tagged with: "racism"

Racism Solved After Open Dorm Conversation

September 22, 2016 12:00 pmComments Off on Racism Solved After Open Dorm Conversation
Racism Solved After Open Dorm Conversation

Residents of Soto celebrated Thursday evening, as a “frank and honest discussion” about identity completely solved all of the structural inequalities plaguing American society in their infinite intricacy. What began as an innocent discussion about Colin Kaepernick and the nature of American patriotism soon morphed into a full-on discourse about […]

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Local Wonder Child Tragically Racist

May 23, 2016 12:00 pmComments Off on Local Wonder Child Tragically Racist
Local Wonder Child Tragically Racist
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Scientists at Bell Laboratories Create Innovative New Form of Racism

March 9, 2015 12:00 pmComments Off on Scientists at Bell Laboratories Create Innovative New Form of Racism
Scientists at Bell Laboratories Create Innovative New Form of Racism

Murray Hill, NJ, 1953 – Sources report that a crack team in the secretive research and development branch of Bell Laboratories has been working to innovate a new type of racism that may change how racial discrimination works on a national level. “We can’t give you too many details, but […]

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Freshman Finally Ready to Introduce Racist Jokes into New Friendship

September 25, 2014 8:00 amComments Off on Freshman Finally Ready to Introduce Racist Jokes into New Friendship
Freshman Finally Ready to Introduce Racist Jokes into New Friendship

Having spent the duration of New Student Orientation (NSO) cultivating a respectful, genial relationship with fellow freshmen Paul Lindrey, Otero resident Philip Johnson is finally ready to broach the subject of light-hearted racism with his newfound companion. “I certainly want to respect his boundaries and don’t want to do anything […]

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Local Man Mistakes Chinese Man for Daur of Inner Mongolia

April 7, 2014 12:00 pmComments Off on Local Man Mistakes Chinese Man for Daur of Inner Mongolia
Local Man Mistakes Chinese Man for Daur of Inner Mongolia

In a terrible faux pas, Palo Alto resident Rob Malon mistook an ethnically Chinese man for a member of the Daur ethnic group found predominantly in Inner Mongolia. The victim of Malon’s ignorance, Stanford Junior Victor Chu, considers the misstep an “egregious offense,” saying, “Honestly, it’s 2014, people can’t get […]

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Admissions Announces Record Yield

May 15, 2012 6:00 amComments Off on Admissions Announces Record Yield
Admissions Announces Record Yield

Following unusually warm temperatures throughout the month of April, the Admissions Office announced today that an unusually high number of caterpillars have accepted Stanford’s offers of admission, and will start attending classes while attached to students’ clothing this week. Stanford extended offers of admission to nearly a million caterpillars, expecting […]

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Dining Hall Puts Morgan Freeman on MLK Day Posters

January 24, 2012 6:00 amComments Off on Dining Hall Puts Morgan Freeman on MLK Day Posters
Dining Hall Puts Morgan Freeman on MLK Day Posters

Stanford, CA — In an embarrassing incident Monday, staff members at the Arillaga family dining hall accidentally displayed a poster depicting famous actor Morgan Freeman, mistakenly claiming he was Martin Luther King Jr. Trying to cover for their most recent mistake, Arillaga issued a statement saying that the dining hall […]

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Native Americans Lose Reservation, Wait 15 Minutes for Seat

October 4, 2009 1:12 pm0 comments
Native Americans Lose Reservation, Wait 15 Minutes for Seat



For hundreds of years, Native Americans have dealt with countless instances of racial discrimination. Natives were forced to leave their homes behind, ousted by an insensitive and intolerant government. America claims to have learned from its past mistakes. Indeed, reparations have been paid, casinos opened, and drug laws “enforced,” but […]

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The Flipside Juice – Change Has Come

April 16, 2009 1:09 am0 comments
The Flipside Juice – Change Has Come
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Obama Rebukes African Leaders for Lack of African Americans in Africa

February 16, 2009 5:21 pm0 comments
Obama Rebukes African Leaders for Lack of African Americans in Africa

While the United States celebrates the inauguration of its first African American president, signifying a break from hundreds of years of racism, segregation, and slavery, many are concerned that other countries in the world will never be able to accomplish the same. A recent study has shown that there are […]

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