While the United States celebrates the inauguration of its first African American president, signifying a break from hundreds of years of racism, segregation, and slavery, many are concerned that other countries in the world will never be able to accomplish the same.

A recent study has shown that there are no African American citizens in Africa, a study that is extremely troubling to US president Barack Obama. The census, conducted in 2005, breaks down the racial demographics of every country in Africa, and none of them have a category for African Americans. In Ethiopia specifically, 32.1% were Oromo, 30.2% were Amhara, and the smallest racial group composing just 1% of the population were the Gamo. African Americans were nowhere to be found. “This absence of African Americans in Africa is worse than segregation and slavery combined!” said a disturbed Barack Obama at a press conference on Saturday.

The absence of African Americans in Africa has struck fear into the hearts of many American politicians who used to think that Africa was a continent with a lot of black people. The question on everyone’s mind is: “Where the heck did all the African Americans go?”

Congressman John Noriega from South Carolina visited Africa a few years ago and recalls seeing thousands of African Americans. “When I went to Kenya, my cab driver was African American, the hotel receptionist was African American, heck, everyone was African American! I didn’t see a gosh-darned white person the entire time!”

At the moment, no one knows why there are no African Americans in Africa, and according to Reverend Jesse Jackson, the only thing we can do is pray.

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