Murray Hill, NJ, 1953 – Sources report that a crack team in the secretive research and development branch of Bell Laboratories has been working to innovate a new type of racism that may change how racial discrimination works on a national level.

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“We can’t give you too many details, but we can tell you that it’s a revolutionary project.

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It definitely doesn’t have anything to do with a spectacular breakthrough in computing as we know it, but it will institutionalize racism for decades to come,” head scientist Milford Shockley declared.

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While much is still unknown about this project, which the media has dubbed `advanced racism,’ citizens are already speculating as to the nature of the new development, which is scheduled to hit America early next fall.

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“I want to say that it will be a new way to marginalize other races in a way that puts up barriers to their success in America,” reports Debby Lownding, a resident of Missouri, “but my gut tells me that’s too easy; maybe it will be something simpler, like an electrical switch that only connects if you’re white. Scientists told us that racism like that is at least a decade away, but who knows?

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This is America. The sky is the limit.”

Officials in the Government have recently become interested in the developments at Bell Labs as well, given that a breakthrough there might put Americans 10 – 20 years ahead of Soviet racism.

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