Post Tagged with: "assu"

Amidst Budget Cuts, ASSU Fuck Pit Boarded Up

March 28, 2016 12:00 pmComments Off on Amidst Budget Cuts, ASSU Fuck Pit Boarded Up
People stand next to a 24.9 metre (82 feet) diametre pit at a village in Guangyuan, Sichuan province, February 28, 2013. According to local media the pit formed on a karst landform last year after the ground surface kept sinking for six days in September. The investigators said the pit may face further sinking after rains due to its geological conditions. Picture taken February 28, 2013. REUTERS/Stringer (CHINA - Tags: SOCIETY ENVIRONMENT) CHINA OUT. NO COMMERCIAL OR EDITORIAL SALES IN CHINA - RTR3EFC1
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ASSU Senate Bid Already Derailed by Whorehouse Scandal

April 14, 2015 9:00 amComments Off on ASSU Senate Bid Already Derailed by Whorehouse Scandal
ASSU Senate Bid Already Derailed by Whorehouse Scandal

Scandal has rocked the ASSU Senate race this year as prospective ASSU senator, freshman Andrew Henderson, has admitted that much of his campaign funding came from local Palo Alto whorehouse, Facefuck. The whorehouse apparently promised Henderson a sum total of 3000 dollars in exchange for his unambiguous support of a […]

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Senate Candidate Would Just Love a Moment of Your Time

April 13, 2015 12:01 pmComments Off on Senate Candidate Would Just Love a Moment of Your Time
Senate Candidate Would Just Love a Moment of Your Time

            With the undergraduate Senate elections approaching and a series of dynamic new initiatives coming into play, a student Senate candidate would love to “just bug you for a second if that’s OK.”  After all, the ASSU has a daunting year ahead and this candidate has […]

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ASSU Declares “Best two out of three” on Divestment Vote

February 24, 2015 9:00 amComments Off on ASSU Declares “Best two out of three” on Divestment Vote
ASSU Declares “Best two out of three” on Divestment Vote

STANFORD, CA—This morning, the 16th Undergraduate Senate reached an agreement to vote for a third time on the resolution to divest from companies doing business in occupied Palestine in order to “break the tie” of their last two decisions with the “best two out of three” method. This motion comes […]

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Breaking: Flipside Writer Gives Up Satire for Lent

February 23, 2015 12:01 pmComments Off on Breaking: Flipside Writer Gives Up Satire for Lent
Breaking: Flipside Writer Gives Up Satire for Lent

This past Wednesday, Magellan J. Pfluke, reported staff writer and editor for The Stanford Flipside, declared that he would honor the Catholic observance of Lent by giving up satirical journalism, expressing respect for the self-restraint that it takes for one to give up a troublesome habit. The decision comes at […]

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Student Performs Civic Duty by Voting in ASSU Elections

April 15, 2014 9:00 amComments Off on Student Performs Civic Duty by Voting in ASSU Elections
Student Performs Civic Duty by Voting in ASSU Elections

  It can be all too easy at times to succumb to apathy in the face of great challenges. But one student, Junior Sarah Everton, looked at the broken, disorganized senate, and exercised her power as a student and as a citizen to enact change. Rather than write off the […]

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ASSU to be dissolved in favor of TITSU

April 14, 2014 12:00 pmComments Off on ASSU to be dissolved in favor of TITSU
ASSU to be dissolved in favor of TITSU

As political engagement and voter turnout reach an all-time low, university officials have declared the dissolution of Associated Students of Stanford University (ASSU) in favor of the rebranded The Institutional Trustees of Stanford University (TITSU), effective immediately. TITSU will be larger and more well-rounded in its approach to community issues, […]

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Bold, Innovative Campaign Poster Preventing Bladder-Shy Student from Peeing

April 9, 2014 9:17 pmComments Off on Bold, Innovative Campaign Poster Preventing Bladder-Shy Student from Peeing
Bold, Innovative Campaign Poster Preventing Bladder-Shy Student from Peeing

Freshman and ASSU Senate Candidate Murphy Huggins knew that to stand out from his many qualified competitors he would need a fresh, new campaign. Partnered with roommate Carter Stinton, who studies visual design and knows how to use Photoshop, Huggins crafted a powerful series of poster-based advertisements that he strategically […]

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ASSU Member to Vote on BJ Bill, Intends to Bypass Roommate Contract

October 23, 2013 9:00 amComments Off on ASSU Member to Vote on BJ Bill, Intends to Bypass Roommate Contract
ASSU Member to Vote on BJ Bill, Intends to Bypass Roommate Contract

STANFORD, CA–Last week, the ASSU voted on a bill that overruled changes to the bylaws of the BJA (Board of Justice Affairs) bill that were implemented without Senate input. In the same spirit, a member of the 15th Undergraduate Senate, who wishes to remain anonymous, recently introduced a bill onto […]

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Freshmen Can’t Find Polling Locations, Suspect ASSU Voter Suppression

April 15, 2013 12:01 pmComments Off on Freshmen Can’t Find Polling Locations, Suspect ASSU Voter Suppression
Freshmen Can’t Find Polling Locations, Suspect ASSU Voter Suppression

In the wake of numerous protests filed by Stanford freshmen last week, ASSU Elections Commissioner Brianna Pang is investigating potential barriers to voting that prevented underclassmen from getting to the polls. “I checked all the likely spots on campus where I would expect the voting booths to be,” claimed bewildered […]

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