Late last night, before the libtards could wake up and man their social justice warrior battle stations, the Stanford College Republicans announced that they would be inviting Adolf Hitler, former Living Nazi and current Ghost Nazi, to speak at Cemex Auditorium in early December as part of their ongoing “Controversial Speakers” series aimed at giving free speech a chance on Stanford’s campus.

This news breaks only hours after Ghost Hitler was first sighted and confirmed to indeed be roaming the land of the living once again, but now as an ephemeral spirit, prompting major news outlets around the globe to run such headlines as “He is Risen, But Not Like That” and “Adolf is Back and Spookier Than Ever.” The speed with which SCR was able to contact Ghost Hitler and confirm his availability to come speak on campus is a perfect example of SCR’s unwavering drive and determination to promote free speech at all costs. Their commitment to exposing the Stanford community to ideas that exist outside of their Pussy-Hat-Wearing, Bernie-Sanders-Supporting, Abortion-Loving echo chambers is truly unmatched, even when that commitment involves communicating with the undead.

Andrew Spencer, public relations for SCR, tells the Flipside in an exclusive interview that Ghost Hitler is the perfect follow-up to their October speaker, Ghost John Wilkes Booth, because both men dealt with terrible persecution in their time for having ideas that went against the ‘status quo.’

“I think there’s a population of students on this campus that can really connect with these ghost narratives,” says Spencer, between intense Ouija board sessions with Ghost Hitler, “Straight white men like me are consistently being discriminated against on college campuses because of our ‘controversial’ opinions, so these speakers serve as a reminder to us all that we aren’t alone in our Kampf, as ol’ GH would say.”

As of press time, SCR has taken to demonstrating in White Plaza, wearing sandwich boards with the popular Ghostbuster phrase: “I ain’t afraid of no ghost.”

Sign Up for Our Newsletter

Get the Stanford Flipside sent to your inbox!

You May Also Like

Study Finds: If Your Hand is Bigger than Your Face You Need Surgery

In a packed auditorium on Saturday, Stanford Hospital Director Ken Toshi informed…

Study Confirms That Bitches, As Suspected, Ain’t Shit But Hoes and Tricks

When Dr. Dre proposed in his seminal theoretical work, “The Chronic”, the…

Connections to Steroid Ring Finally Explain Peyton Manning’s Giant Forehead

Following last week’s announcement of an upcoming Al-Jazeera documentary that alleges that…