Alvin Peterson, a freshman who is enrolled in Econ 1A, has recently announced that he has discovered the solution to all of the country’s economic problems.

Having covered the first three chapters of the introductory textbook, which Alvin apparently obtained through a “sweet deal on Amazon,” the FroSoCo resident has gained a sufficient understanding of the subtleties of the nation’s political economy to instruct the Federal Reserve Board, the President’s advisors, and the executive cabinet on fiscal and monetary policy.

“We should cut the interest rates because then people spend more and that’s good”, said Alvin, while drawing a shaky supply and demand graph with a ballpoint pen in his wide-ruled notebook, “I mean, I did get a 9/10 on my first problem set. I think I know what I’m talking about here.”

Sign Up for Our Newsletter

Get the Stanford Flipside sent to your inbox!

You May Also Like

Study Confirms That Bitches, As Suspected, Ain’t Shit But Hoes and Tricks

When Dr. Dre proposed in his seminal theoretical work, “The Chronic”, the…

Study Finds: If Your Hand is Bigger than Your Face You Need Surgery

In a packed auditorium on Saturday, Stanford Hospital Director Ken Toshi informed…

Connections to Steroid Ring Finally Explain Peyton Manning’s Giant Forehead

Following last week’s announcement of an upcoming Al-Jazeera documentary that alleges that…