Climatologists Concede that New York Would Look Pretty Sweet Underwater

A recently released study by a panel of IPCC climatologists reports that,…

Puppeteer Takes the Heat for Elmo’s Sordid Affairs

This week, longtime Elmo puppeteer and accused sex offender Kevin Clash held…

Freshman Convinced His Vote Made a Difference

Freshman Mark Allen of Sacramento, California, spent Tuesday evening glued to CNN’s coverage…

Federal Officials Decide to Move Florida to Assisted-Living Home

After another high-profile Floridian election gaffe, Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar…

Turkeys Unionize Before Thanksgiving Blowout

In anticipation of a busy Thanksgiving week, America’s Turkeys have announced plans…

United States Wins the Nobel Prize in Economics

The United States of America has won the Nobel Memorial Prize in…

Obama Can’t Stop Taking Stances on Things

They say all addictions start with a first step. For some, that…

Nation Prepares for All-Out Sex Party in Wake of Obama Announcement

In response to President Obama’s announcement that he personally supports same-sex marriage,…