Republicans Move to Canada, Regret it Nearly Instantly

In a trend that has been spotted throughout the nation, millions of…

Vague AlertSU Nomenclature System Confuses Students

Increasing activity on the AlertSU system this Autumn Quarter has led students…

Freshman Convinced His Vote Made a Difference

Freshman Mark Allen of Sacramento, California, spent Tuesday evening glued to CNN’s coverage…

Federal Officials Decide to Move Florida to Assisted-Living Home

After another high-profile Floridian election gaffe, Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar…

Report: Some Shit Happening on Other Side of the World

As elections in the United States draw to a close and citizens…

Ohioans Return to Meaningless, Insignificant Ohio Lives