Post Tagged with: "hillary clinton"

Op-Ed: Student’s Horizons Already So Widened After Two Weeks Abroad

October 10, 2016 12:00 pmComments Off on Op-Ed: Student’s Horizons Already So Widened After Two Weeks Abroad
Op-Ed: Student’s Horizons Already So Widened After Two Weeks Abroad

EUROPE — Bonjour, uncultured swine.  I write to you from a park bench overlooking the River, using cigarette butts from an ash tray I found in a hospital waiting room.  Someone pick-pocketed my fountain pen and also my passport and additionally my wallet (it happens all the time abroad, even […]

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Math Joins Ranks of Pro-Hillary Establishment

May 9, 2016 12:01 pmComments Off on Math Joins Ranks of Pro-Hillary Establishment
Math Joins Ranks of Pro-Hillary Establishment

Ignoring the momentum displayed by Bernie Sanders’ surprise win in Indiana, mathematics revealed its establishment indoctrination Sunday by maintaining that Hillary Clinton is “quite literally assured” to be the Democratic nominee for the Presidency. As math explained, “Senator Sanders would need 939 delegates to secure the nomination. There are only […]

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Bill Terrified Of Consequences Should Hillary Lose Primary

February 1, 2016 12:01 pmComments Off on Bill Terrified Of Consequences Should Hillary Lose Primary
Bill Terrified Of Consequences Should Hillary Lose Primary

As the results of Iowa’s caucuses filter in across the nation, campaign strategists and partisans of all stripes nervously hope that their hard work over the past few months pays off. Yet, despite the historical stakes at hand, no candidate or staffer is as anxious as Former President Bill Clinton, […]

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Hillary Clinton Deals With Paralyzing Fear that Someone, Somewhere May Not Vote For Her

April 27, 2015 12:01 pmComments Off on Hillary Clinton Deals With Paralyzing Fear that Someone, Somewhere May Not Vote For Her
Hillary Clinton Deals With Paralyzing Fear that Someone, Somewhere May Not Vote For Her

Recent reports from the Democratic campaign trail have indicated that the Clinton camp may be dealing with their first major obstacle on the road to a possible presidency; Hillary’s all-encompassing fear that Maine lobster trapper Ian Stave is unsure as to whether he will give her his vote.  The state […]

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Hillary Clinton Announces She Will Indeed Run

January 5, 2015 12:00 pmComments Off on Hillary Clinton Announces She Will Indeed Run
Hillary Clinton Announces She Will Indeed Run

Sources close to Hillary Clinton have told the Stanford Flipside that the former Secretary of State has made an important decision since the beginning of the new year. Effective January 1, Clinton will be running, following a plan carefully crafted over several months by a trusted team of advisors. “Mrs. […]

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Breaking: Hillary Clinton Pregnant

May 5, 2014 12:00 pmComments Off on Breaking: Hillary Clinton Pregnant
Breaking: Hillary Clinton Pregnant

To convince the American public that her age is not a factor in her unconfirmed-but-who-are-we-kidding hopes of rising to the presidency in 2016, former secretary of state Hillary Clinton took a note from the press attention awarded her first child Chelsea and announced that she is also pregnant. Said the […]

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Woman Given Job as Secretary

March 1, 2009 10:40 pm0 comments
Woman Given Job as Secretary
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