To convince the American public that her age is not a factor in her unconfirmed-but-who-are-we-kidding hopes of rising to the presidency in 2016, former secretary of state Hillary Clinton took a note from the press attention awarded her first child Chelsea and announced that she is also pregnant.

Said the expectant mother: “My husband Bill and I are so proud to welcome a new life into the world.  We’ve been at it like rabbits with our fecund bodies and now, like the young parents we are, we are nervous about our finances and hoping my parents can chip in for the college fund.”

At press time, Clinton was begrudgingly buying a pair of hip, youthful yoga pants to sport during her third trimester.

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