Post Tagged with: "google"

Stanford to Begin Replacing Classes with Google Onboarding Program

November 5, 2018 7:00 pmComments Off on Stanford to Begin Replacing Classes with Google Onboarding Program
Stanford to Begin Replacing Classes with Google Onboarding Program

As part of Stanford’s ongoing long-range planning initiative, University President Marc Tessier-Lavigne and Provost Persis Drell announced Monday morning an ambitious new vision for Stanford that will see “classes” and “schoolwork” gradually phased out and replaced with a multi-stage onboarding program for future Google employees. “Stanford’s current model of education […]

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Depressed Self-Driving Car Self-Drives to Tragedy

January 22, 2015 9:00 amComments Off on Depressed Self-Driving Car Self-Drives to Tragedy
Depressed Self-Driving Car Self-Drives to Tragedy

The life of a robotic self-navigating Google vehicle can often test an auto’s emotional and psychological resolve. Contrary to the hopes of the company, not every autonomous car is programmed to be a sassy independent automobile who don’t need no driver.  Without any accompanying motorist to sing killer Katy Perry […]

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Sigma Chi, Sigma Nu Offer No Sympathy to Confused Delivery Man

April 28, 2014 12:01 pmComments Off on Sigma Chi, Sigma Nu Offer No Sympathy to Confused Delivery Man
Sigma Chi, Sigma Nu Offer No Sympathy to Confused Delivery Man

Sources reported that on Wednesday, members of Sigma Nu were incredulous to discover that their Google Shopping Express delivery of Smartwater and Clif Bars was delayed twenty minutes because the Driver confused Sigma Nu with Sigma Chi. “They’re like, not even the same bro,” said sophomore Jeffrey Randle, “Sigma Chi […]

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Google Opens First Physical Store in Stanford Shopping Center

January 21, 2014 9:00 amComments Off on Google Opens First Physical Store in Stanford Shopping Center
Google Opens First Physical Store in Stanford Shopping Center

In an effort to alleviate the strain on its servers and expand its footprint, tech giant Google announced the grand opening of its first physical storefront in the Stanford Shopping Center last Tuesday. “We think we can provide physical analogues of our most searched-for services, giving people the freedom to […]

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Google Barge Mystery Solved

November 6, 2013 9:00 amComments Off on Google Barge Mystery Solved
Google Barge Mystery Solved

The mysterious emergence of several Google-owned barges off the San Francisco Bay and Maine’s Portland Harbor has attracted widespread attention and speculation. Theories regarding the purpose of these barges include data centers or storage centers, but Google has kept stubbornly silent about the barges’ true purpose. Google is known for […]

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Uninformed Opinions: What About Me++?

March 11, 2013 12:02 pmComments Off on Uninformed Opinions: What About Me++?
Uninformed Opinions: What About Me++?

Inspired by the runaway success She++, I am pleased to announce the grand kickoff of Me++, designed to foster and inspire coding for me. Right now, I am shockingly underrepresented in the professional world of computer science. Pop Quiz: Do you know what percentage of the workforce includes me? Answer: […]

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Mark Zuckerberg Sets Record for Really Big Garage Sale

May 21, 2012 6:02 amComments Off on Mark Zuckerberg Sets Record for Really Big Garage Sale
Mark Zuckerberg Sets Record for Really Big Garage Sale

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg made headlines last week by selling a record $614 of stuff at his garage sale. The landmark sale, which took place on Friday, May 18th, was the largest garage sale (in dollars) of the quarter in his whole neighborhood. Though many buyers feel they got a […]

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Google Privacy Policy Prompts Pedophiles, Terrorists To Switch To Bing

March 5, 2012 8:00 amComments Off on Google Privacy Policy Prompts Pedophiles, Terrorists To Switch To Bing
Google Privacy Policy Prompts Pedophiles, Terrorists To Switch To Bing
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Google Glasses to Tell People the Weather

March 1, 2012 6:00 amComments Off on Google Glasses to Tell People the Weather
Google Glasses to Tell People the Weather

By the end of the year, Google will release physical glasses that will tell people whether or not it is raining. “We are really excited about this advance in technology,” said Sergei Brin as he donned a prototype that looked like stunna shades, “It uses advanced computer vision techniques to […]

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Friend’s Idea for Start-Up Just Google Docs

January 30, 2012 6:00 amComments Off on Friend’s Idea for Start-Up Just Google Docs
Friend’s Idea for Start-Up Just Google Docs

Friends and acquaintances of sophomore Will Bradley report that his latest idea for a start-up consists of a product that is functionally indistinguishable from Google Docs. The “revolutionary” product, which Bradley is calling myDox, would allow users to save their documents in the cloud, work collaboratively in real time and […]

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