Op-Ed: Attending My Local Brothel to Discuss the Latest Feudal News with the Three Wise Wenches

Bards in every tavern are whispering rumors that Lord Biden is set…

Outbreak of Cyberbullying Devastates Millions of Youths After Melania Trump Leaves White House

A specter is haunting the teens of America—the specter of cyberbullying. For…

SpaceX Announces Launch of Challenger 2: The One Where It Gets There

In a press release published Sunday morning, SpaceX announced the details of…

Twitter User @NotQAnon69 announced as newest Hoover Fellow

This week, the Hoover Institution announced its newest addition to its prestigious…

Dear Abby: The Lewd Worm in My Garden Is Making Me Uncomfortable

Dearest Abby,  I write to you with an unfortunate conundrum: the earthworm…

Op-ed: For God’s Sake, Stop Sending Out These Fucking Amber Alerts—I Already Killed the Kid

Picture this: you’re all alone in the kitchen, pan-frying some tilapia and…

Meet Bronc, the world’s first genetically-engineered frat bro

Ever since Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, scientists have wondered, “Can we create life?…

Dr. Fauci Feels Much More Comfortable Walking Around Public Now That He Is Not Being Traced By the Red Dot of a Nearby Army Sniper

In many ways the nation took a big sigh of relief after…

Op-Ed: I, an on-campus frosh, locked myself out of my room, and my solution was to ask MTL if I could sleep over at his house.

The first time I locked myself out of my room, I asked…

Op-Ed: Halloween 2020 Sucks

Corona has made me realize a lot of things – that it…