A campus-wide initiative funded by Stanford’s Office for Inclusion, Belonging, and Intergroup Communication seems to be reaping its first benefits: data shows that following Monday’s “Stand Up! Fight Bullying, Racism, and Environmentalism” programming, Six is no longer afraid of Seven. 

Historically, the relationship between the two has been misguided and hostile, but today’s research report is a strong indicator that times are in fact changing.  Six’s general grievances with Seven (violence, threatening behavior, third-degree manslaughter charges associated with the unfortunate death of Nine) have since been cleared thanks to the anti-racism inspired sock puppet show paid for by the University.  The program also featured an advanced pyrotechnics show to “illustrate the explosive consequences of injustice” and a brief stunt performance to “hook viewers”.  It appears once and for all that we may be headed towards a future in which numbers can look at one another strictly in a mathematical sense.  

Flipside reporters reached out to Six for comments, who responded with the following: “I take full accountability for my unjust hatred and vitriol, and am working towards bringing myself to a better place where I will be able to engage the subject matter in a mature, responsible, and accountable fashion.”  In a world with much up for grabs, it’s good to know that the bridge between evens and odds is a strong one, paved with good intent.

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