Articles by: Heidi Gamil

The Flipside Friday Night Game Report

January 16, 2015 9:00 amComments Off on The Flipside Friday Night Game Report
The Flipside Friday Night Game Report

It’s Saturday night at the Kappa Alpha frat and it is a full house tonight! The star of our show tonight, is local bro Mark Zimmer, and he is in the pocket with his eyes on the target, straight downfield. His bud hikes him a Bud Light, and after a […]

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Kim Kardashian Running Out of Things to Show the Internet

November 17, 2014 12:00 pmComments Off on Kim Kardashian Running Out of Things to Show the Internet
Kim Kardashian Running Out of Things to Show the Internet
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Condom Confused About His Sexuality

October 20, 2014 12:00 pmComments Off on Condom Confused About His Sexuality
Condom Confused About His Sexuality

I knew it. Statistically it made sense. Until this moment I was just excited to be having sex at all, even though I knew I was just being used. But I shouldn’t be surprised that it was a woman. What should surprise me is that right in the middle of […]

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Class of 2018 Drops Out, Founds Start-Up

October 2, 2014 9:00 amComments Off on Class of 2018 Drops Out, Founds Start-Up
Class of 2018 Drops Out, Founds Start-Up

University officials announced yesterday that the Class of 2018 collectively withdrew from the university following the final day of NSO. The class has been seen biking up and down Sand Hill Road all week, attending meetings with VCs in lieu of engineering and CS information sessions. Just minutes after filing for withdrawal, the […]

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BREAKING NEWS: LeBron James is Jesus

July 16, 2014 5:00 pmComments Off on BREAKING NEWS: LeBron James is Jesus
BREAKING NEWS: LeBron James is Jesus

This just in: the world’s most famous basketball player is indeed the messiah, and the people of Cleveland are His chosen ones. And this reporter, stationed in Cleveland for the summer, has taken it upon herself to evangelize the nation, spreading the gospel of “The New King James” for the […]

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2014 FIFA World Cup Recap

July 14, 2014 9:06 pmComments Off on 2014 FIFA World Cup Recap
2014 FIFA World Cup Recap

Commentators and fans alike regard the 2014 FIFA World Cup as a cup of upsets, and consequently extremely exciting to follow. Just in case you thought the the cup was over after the US was eliminated, were too busy watching baseball, or were preoccupied wondering about where the hell LeBron […]

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Dreidel Drop Comes Early This Year

December 2, 2013 12:01 pmComments Off on Dreidel Drop Comes Early This Year
Dreidel Drop Comes Early This Year

The Turkey Drop is a time-honored tradition for doomed high school couples. Thinking they can make long-distance work, within the first month they find themselves grasping at straws. When phone sex, Skype stripteases, and sexting don’t work, they may turn to a more wholesome and modest means, Snapchat, to recover […]

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Google Barge Mystery Solved

November 6, 2013 9:00 amComments Off on Google Barge Mystery Solved
Google Barge Mystery Solved

The mysterious emergence of several Google-owned barges off the San Francisco Bay and Maine’s Portland Harbor has attracted widespread attention and speculation. Theories regarding the purpose of these barges include data centers or storage centers, but Google has kept stubbornly silent about the barges’ true purpose. Google is known for […]

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New Prodigy Child Discovered

November 1, 2013 9:00 amComments Off on New Prodigy Child Discovered
New Prodigy Child Discovered

The news was revealed on a Thursday afternoon like any other. Clarissa von Hauser, a resident of Greenwich, Connecticut, was hosting her bridge group, whose members were all young mothers. As expected they were discussing their children, and the conversation began as mundanely as could be expected: “MY son Remington […]

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New iPad Unveiled (Veiled Option Also Available)

October 21, 2013 12:00 pmComments Off on New iPad Unveiled (Veiled Option Also Available)
New iPad Unveiled (Veiled Option Also Available)

Apple’s October 22 invitation to the unveiling of new iPads has caused feelings of discomfort and claims of insensitivity from certain religious and cultural communities. Brave women everywhere have stood up for the appliance’s right to remain veiled. Maryam Sa’id, the leader of a protest outside the Apple store at […]

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