Last Sunday the most puffed up and inbred dogs from around the country convened in the ultimate competition—the 136thAnnual Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. Competitive events included fetch, playing dead, and tail chasing. But one little dog stole the show, getting a perfect score in the high-stakes leg humping portion of the competition. Malachy, a Pekingese, successfully latched onto the leg of her owner, Jane Simmons, evading gravity as the woman embarrassedly attempted to shake her off. Persistently seeking her blue ribbon, Malachy clung on for a solid three minutes, a Westminster record. Spectators were shocked at the stamina and enthusiasm of the little rascal, as well as her perfect form. This left a lasting impression on the judges who immediately awarded Malachy “Best in Show.” A number of wealthy donors have offered to buy Malachy for breeding purposes, but Simmons is hesitant to sell. “Most dogs would love to be sold for breeding, but I think it’s clear that Malachy would be happier with me and my leg than she would be with any breeder,” said Simmons.

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