Weeks after Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab failed to ignite an explosive on Northwest Airlines Flight 253, Abdulmutallab’s high school chemistry teacher, Akeju Khaled, reported that the terrorist had at best mediocre chemistry skills. In the attempted attack, Abdulmutallab failed to correctly combine explosive chemicals.

            In the report, Khaled stated “Umar was always a below average student. He usually received C’s and D’s on his tests and never participated in class.” Khaled added that he often found Abdulmutallab texting in class and now suspects that he was communicating with his “terrorist friends.”

            Khaled theorizes that Abdulmutallab may have spent so much time writing his name on his test paper that he could not finish answering the questions.

            In the conclusion of his report, Khaled vividly outlined the correct procedure to ignite the chemical explosive and described Abdulmutallab’s exact mistakes. White House officials report that the final line of Khaled’s report, “Death to America!!!!!” could be suspicious. The CIA announced that it would consider looking into its intelligence leads this time. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Sign Up for Our Newsletter

Get the Stanford Flipside sent to your inbox!

You May Also Like

Study Confirms That Bitches, As Suspected, Ain’t Shit But Hoes and Tricks

When Dr. Dre proposed in his seminal theoretical work, “The Chronic”, the…

Study Finds: If Your Hand is Bigger than Your Face You Need Surgery

In a packed auditorium on Saturday, Stanford Hospital Director Ken Toshi informed…

Connections to Steroid Ring Finally Explain Peyton Manning’s Giant Forehead

Following last week’s announcement of an upcoming Al-Jazeera documentary that alleges that…