By Stanley Waters

STANFORD—Last Thursday, in an act many have seen coming for over a decade, Stanford’s campus police department announced its decision to remove all stop signs from the Stanford campus. The initiative is designed to cut down on crime and ease the heavy workload on campus police. “Every day, we see student after student bike straight past stop signs without slowing down. This flagrant violation of the law can not be tolerated. To eliminate these traffic violations and maintain the rule of law, we will soon replace all stop signs around campus with the more logical ‘go’ sign,” reported Campus Police officer Charlie Jones.
The decision was met with widespread support across campus. “Biking around and seeing STOP signs is such a downer. That’s not the way I want to live my life, stopping every 300 feet. It will be so much nicer to be met with a word of encouragement as I move along,” said junior Mattie Collins.
In addition to decreasing traffic violations across campus, there is hope that the new signs will improve student academic performance by inspiring them to bike faster to classes. The new ‘GO’ signs will appear on campus starting next week.

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