Earthquake Leaves Individuals Shook

February 19, 2017 12:00 pm
Earthquake Leaves Individuals Shook

A 7.0 magnitude earthquake off the coast of Norway last Friday left residents shook by its intensity. An earthquake this size has not been recorded since 80 B.C., which is likely a made-up fact. “It was traumatizing,” recounts Norwegian citizen Magnus Eriksen Jørgensen. “The buildings were toppling around me as […]

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Report: Local Satire Paper Missed Major Sporting Event

9:00 am
Report: Local Satire Paper Missed Major Sporting Event

Surprising absolutely no one, the Flipside staff has managed for two weeks to miss the opportunity to poke fun at the most widely televised athletic event in the U.S., the Super Bowl. Sources confirm that the Flipside nerds vaguely knew of the event’s occurrence and relevance, but that they had […]

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Hunger Games-Style Battle Initiated After Sesame Balls Run Out At Wilbur’s Lunar New Year Dinner

February 14, 2017 12:00 pm
Hunger Games-Style Battle Initiated After Sesame Balls Run Out At Wilbur’s Lunar New Year Dinner

Thursday evening’s Lunar New Year Celebration, a large, festive event at Wilbur Dining, brought flocks of students from all over campus to feast on many Asian cuisine items. With so many students, however, popular foods quickly ran out, including fan-favorites such as mochi, chocolate ice cream, and fried sesame balls. […]

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A Treatise On The Giving Me Of Your Lunch Money

February 13, 2017 12:00 pm
A Treatise On The Giving Me Of Your Lunch Money

It has now become evident that, since we last spoke, our open correspondence has deteriorated significantly. Perchance your dumb loser head is having trouble comprehending the predicament that we have found ourselves in. As such, I hope that you realize that I am trying to do the noble thing here […]

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Trump Threatens To Bomb Country That NPR Is From

12:00 pm
Trump Threatens To Bomb Country That NPR Is From

After a security briefing marked by screaming, jumping jacks, and heavy breathing, Trump has demanded that the military “find whichever country, the one that NPR is in, and bomb the crap out of them.” Proceeding to rant about it on Twitter, Trump emphasized the need to deliver violent justice to […]

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Uh Oh: The Oscar Statue Came To Life And He’s Very, Very Horny

12:00 pm
Uh Oh: The Oscar Statue Came To Life And He’s Very, Very Horny

Reports are coming in from Hollywood that the Oscar Statue, the gold-plated symbol of achievement in cinema, has come to life and is now extremely, extremely horny. The statuette, resting at 13.5 inches and weighing 8.5 lbs achieved sentience earlier today before developing an insatiable sex-drive, despite not having any […]

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Frequent Nordstrom Shopper Adds “Activism” To Resume

February 12, 2017 6:00 pm
Frequent Nordstrom Shopper Adds “Activism” To Resume

PALO ALTO, CA – Pondering President Trump’s recent attacks on Nordstrom and the implications of that day’s pre-spring shopping spree, Palo Alto resident and known Nordstrom enthusiast Andrea Stevens added “Activism” to the “Interests/Activities” section of her resume early Sunday evening.  “As soon as I saw Trump attacking Nordstrom on Twitter, […]

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Trump Family Probably Actually Just A Set of Russian Nesting Dolls

February 9, 2017 12:00 pm
Trump Family Probably Actually Just A Set of Russian Nesting Dolls

Recently, news sources have been claiming that there may finally be an explanation to all of the peculiarities to the Trump family and administration—the Trump family is actually just a set of Russian nesting dolls. Supporters of this theory argue that this is why Trump wants to keep his children […]

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Environmentally Conscientious Student Feels Completely Comfortable Wasting Water Now That Drought Is Finally Over

February 8, 2017 9:00 am
Environmentally Conscientious Student Feels Completely Comfortable Wasting Water Now That Drought Is Finally Over

Reporting that exacerbating the possibility of a relapse into a widespread agricultural and public health crisis incurs absolutely no personal guilt, Stanford student Jack Rogers (Earth Sys ‘18) told multiple sources that he feels completely comfortable wasting water now that Northern California’s recent severe water shortage has been over for […]

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Experts Suggest ‘Alternative Facts’ Fad Will Soon Give Way To ‘Indie Facts’

February 7, 2017 12:00 pm
Experts Suggest ‘Alternative Facts’ Fad Will Soon Give Way To ‘Indie Facts’

After much controversy surrounding the Trump administration’s embracement of ‘alternative facts’, sociologists at Stanford have concluded that this new troubling fad will eventually give way to ‘indie facts’, which will generally be much more interesting and pleasant. Although alternative facts are all the rage right now, experts have concluded that […]

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