Articles by: Charlie Dexter

Review: La La Land Is So Cheesy I Could Eat It On a Fondue

May 22, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on Review: La La Land Is So Cheesy I Could Eat It On a Fondue
Review: La La Land Is So Cheesy I Could Eat It On a Fondue

Charles Clifford, Cinema Critic Parmesan, cheddar, and now La La Land; if it looks like a cheese, and smells like a cheese, it’s probably a cheese. Oh what a cheesy cheese director Damien Chazelle hath fermented for moviegoers. And that’s just the start of my pan, read on below as […]

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Going Against The Grain: This Dog Is For Sure Going To Hell

May 1, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on Going Against The Grain: This Dog Is For Sure Going To Hell
Going Against The Grain: This Dog Is For Sure Going To Hell
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Report: Weather Thing Different In Other Place

April 17, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on Report: Weather Thing Different In Other Place
Report: Weather Thing Different In Other Place

STANFORD, CA – Scientists have studied weather things like snow, humidity, and tornados in a number of places. There is often no way of knowing whether these weather things vary in different geographical locations. In a groundbreaking report by a person who was born and raised in a different place […]

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Report: Campus Rocked by Exploding-Butt-Related Deaths

February 21, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on Report: Campus Rocked by Exploding-Butt-Related Deaths
Report: Campus Rocked by Exploding-Butt-Related Deaths

Stanford, CA – For months, the question of why so many people have died from their butts exploding has perplexed experts. In an in-depth report, we finally take a look at why the butts are exploding, how they’re exploding, and the impact the butt explosions have had on our community. […]

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Stanford Unveils New Science Library And It’s Very Sexy

January 23, 2017 12:01 pmComments Off on Stanford Unveils New Science Library And It’s Very Sexy
Stanford Unveils New Science Library And It’s Very Sexy

After months of work, construction on Stanford’s ‘Old Chemistry Building’ has finally been completed. The revamped structure is no longer solely for chemistry. The newly unveiled Sapp Center, as it is called, is a general science center and library for undergraduate students studying biology and mathematics, and it is also […]

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Letter To Students On Maintenance Of The Stanford Brand™

January 17, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on Letter To Students On Maintenance Of The Stanford Brand™
Letter To Students On Maintenance Of The Stanford Brand™

Dear Stanford Student™, When you joined Stanford University™, you joined not only a brilliant, diverse, hotbed of innovation, but also a community that values self-expression above all else. As an administration, we support students in their out-of-the-box thinking and identities. In light of recent events, however, we would like to […]

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Op-Ed: I Used To Think Alcohol Was Cool But Now I Know It’s Wack AF

12:00 pmComments Off on Op-Ed: I Used To Think Alcohol Was Cool But Now I Know It’s Wack AF
Op-Ed: I Used To Think Alcohol Was Cool But Now I Know It’s Wack AF

By Mikey Fresh Listen peeps, I’m a student and I know what it’s like to want to drink alcohol. You’re at a bitchin’ party on campus, the DJ starts spinning Ludacris tracks, and there are hotties aplenty. Suddenly you look around and other students are holding red solo cups filled […]

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Study: Everyone Else Is Doing Way Better Than You In Every Way

November 28, 2016 12:00 pmComments Off on Study: Everyone Else Is Doing Way Better Than You In Every Way
Study: Everyone Else Is Doing Way Better Than You In Every Way

A research team at the Stanford psychology department recently completed a two year study on you and every single other person. After a comprehensive review of the results, the research team concluded that everyone else has it better than you in every single way, most likely because you suck so […]

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Quote of the Week 10/31

October 31, 2016 12:00 pmComments Off on Quote of the Week 10/31
Quote of the Week 10/31

“Look at what we got our Hanes on now: NAZI GOLD!” – Hanes Marketing Team on an adventure In Argentina

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SHPRC Plundered By Sex Pirates

October 17, 2016 12:01 pmComments Off on SHPRC Plundered By Sex Pirates
SHPRC Plundered By Sex Pirates

Announcing their arrival by firing a cannon across the entrance to the Vaden Health Center, chaos descended on the Stanford Sexual Health Peer Resource Center last Friday afternoon with the arrival of the dreaded Sex Pirates. “If ye value yar miserable lives, hand over all yar flavored water and silicone […]

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