Articles by: Brian Levin

Lone Gay Cake Maker Supports Indiana Religious Freedom Bill

April 8, 2015 9:00 amComments Off on Lone Gay Cake Maker Supports Indiana Religious Freedom Bill
Lone Gay Cake Maker Supports Indiana Religious Freedom Bill

Across the country, millions of Americans are outraged by the controversial new Religious Freedom Bill passed in Indiana, which allows local business-owners to discriminate based on their patrons’ sexual orientation. After hearing that gay couples could potentially be denied goods such as wedding cakes, Indianapolis-based bakery owner Greg Aikerman, who […]

Read more ›

Cedro Residents Unhappy With OJ Simpson as New RA

February 19, 2015 9:00 amComments Off on Cedro Residents Unhappy With OJ Simpson as New RA
Cedro Residents Unhappy With OJ Simpson as New RA

With the firing of three Cedro RAs still fresh, ResEd acted swiftly in acquiring new staff members to fill the roles. Unfortunately, the vast majority of Cedro residents are upset with the selection of new RAs, especially the hiring of former football player and convicted felon OJ Simpson. Students throughout […]

Read more ›

Pope Acknowledges First Season of Full House is Fictional

November 3, 2014 12:00 pmComments Off on Pope Acknowledges First Season of Full House is Fictional
Pope Acknowledges First Season of Full House is Fictional

                Following a shocking admission that both evolution and the Big Bang theory exist, the Catholic Church decided to once again surpass its ridiculously low standards by acknowledging that the first season of Full House is in fact fictional. For years, high-ranking members […]

Read more ›

V-Week Activists Protest Labeling Women as Ro-“Ho’s”

April 25, 2014 9:00 amComments Off on V-Week Activists Protest Labeling Women as Ro-“Ho’s”
V-Week Activists Protest Labeling Women as Ro-“Ho’s”

FroSoCo. MemChu. HooTow. Stanford students have been shortening one word, shortening another, and putting them together for years. The linguistic phenomenon not only epitomizes students’ efficiency (saving them hours of cumulative talking time), it also sounds cool. Sometimes a third part of a word will join and the party gets […]

Read more ›

After Sweet Sixteen Loss, Stanford Students Left With Nothing Else

April 1, 2014 9:00 amComments Off on After Sweet Sixteen Loss, Stanford Students Left With Nothing Else
After Sweet Sixteen Loss, Stanford Students Left With Nothing Else

A riveting, unexpectedly successful run through the NCAA tournament came to an abrupt end for the Stanford men’s basketball team last Thursday with an 82-72 loss to the Dayton Flyers. Among the Stanford population, those students who realized we still had a basketball team were left distraught after being stripped […]

Read more ›

New Stanford Admissions Process Modeled After Frat Rush

March 31, 2014 12:02 pmComments Off on New Stanford Admissions Process Modeled After Frat Rush
New Stanford Admissions Process Modeled After Frat Rush

As March comes to a close, high school seniors across the nation eagerly wait to see whether or not they will be accepted by their top college choices. For decades the admissions process at Stanford has involved application readers intensely poring over thousands of essays and engaging in hours of […]

Read more ›

Freak Weather Pattern Forces Sigma Nu Residents to Go Shirtless

February 13, 2014 9:00 amComments Off on Freak Weather Pattern Forces Sigma Nu Residents to Go Shirtless
Freak Weather Pattern Forces Sigma Nu Residents to Go Shirtless

While most of Stanford campus struggles in the frosty grip of winter, with temperatures dipping as low as 60 degrees, Sigma Nu has been experiencing what can only be called a micro-microclimate, a small patch of unseasonably warm weather within the Palo Alto microclimate. To cope with the heat, Sigma […]

Read more ›

Freshman in 106A Writes Girlfriend-Dumping Program in Java

December 4, 2013 9:00 amComments Off on Freshman in 106A Writes Girlfriend-Dumping Program in Java
Freshman in 106A Writes Girlfriend-Dumping Program in Java

Although technically classified as “Thanksgiving Recess” in the Stanford Academic Calendar, the first week off from school is known by many as the Turkey Drop, when freshmen, older and wiser from their 9 weeks of college, decide to break up with their significant others from high school. First-year student Kenneth […]

Read more ›

FloMo RAs seek help from CDC after Norovirus Outbreak

November 11, 2013 9:00 amComments Off on FloMo RAs seek help from CDC after Norovirus Outbreak
FloMo RAs seek help from CDC after Norovirus Outbreak

Following dozens of reported cases of Norovirus infection, dorm staff members have reached out to the Centers for Disease Control only to receive some bizarre feedback from the government agency. “We did a quick Google search for ‘CDC’ and were pleasantly surprised when we immediately found a Stanford-specific website,” explains […]

Read more ›