A riveting, unexpectedly successful run through the NCAA tournament came to an abrupt end for the Stanford men’s basketball team last Thursday with an 82-72 loss to the Dayton Flyers. Among the Stanford population, those students who realized we still had a basketball team were left distraught after being stripped of the opportunity, albeit highly likely, of winning a national championship. Groups of sobbing students were seen outside of CoHo, only being able to cope with the fact that their school has the best combination of academics and athletics in the country.

“I know we’ve won the Director’s Cup for 19 straight years and we just proved the existence of the Big Bang, but men’s basketball is the real reason I came here,” said weeping senior Max McGloin, barely able to mumble words under his tears. “I would trade my Electrical Engineering degree any day for just one more shot at that national title.”

Fortunately, most students have been moving into the later stages of grief, past the period of depression and into acceptance. However, some die-hard fans have relapsed by re-watching highlight from the successful-by-Stanford-standards basketball season, which consisted only of plays from last week’s win over Kansas.

In need of support and assistance, many students were visited by members of the 31-3 women’s basketball team who served as an optimistic reminder that a national championship is still within reach.

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