With the firing of three Cedro RAs still fresh, ResEd acted swiftly in acquiring new staff members to fill the roles. Unfortunately, the vast majority of Cedro residents are upset with the selection of new RAs, especially the hiring of former football player and convicted felon OJ Simpson. Students throughout the dorm believe he has not connected well and has consistently been seen as a condescending presence among the freshmen.

“I mean, we don’t care how many lessons he learned from his 1995 murder trial. This is still our freshman year,” said Cedro freshman Teddy Banks. “I don’t even think he knows what a safe space is.”

For many, the most confusing and alarming aspect of hiring Simpson was how ResEd looked past his notorious history of high-profile crimes, or even how he was able to get out of his ongoing 33-year jail sentence. For more information the Flipside interviewed a ResEd administrator, who requested to remain anonymous.

“If you look at the residential guidelines that ResEd has laid out, there are strict rules for RA candidates,” said the staffer, “but there is nothing against armed robbery or first-degree murder.”

On a brighter note, ResEd’s selection of Mel Gibson and Amanda Bynes as the other two Ra’s has been a success, and they have even planned a Screw-your-Roo event at a local strip club for the coming week.

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